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While it has fallen in disfavor in the somewhat puritanical age, group sex has been around for quite some time, and there’s no reason for it to have a negative connotation. 


Today, when sexual freedom is so incredibly important, orgies seem to be increasingly popular among people in open relationships, with more and more people being open-minded and ready to jump on this bandwagon.

But what if you wanted to engage in it, but you’re just a beginner? 

Before group sex

You might be a bit uncomfortable and need to look for answers to your questions. So, read on and take a look at some of the most important things you should know if you want to have group sex but don’t know how.



Things to know before attending a group sex party

You should know what kind of sex party you are attending

If your first experience is going to be at a sex party, make sure you know everything about the event you’re going to. So, go with someone you already know and who’s into these parties – a friend or an acquaintance will be a good option. 

Bear in mind that each sex party is different – some might have only a few people, others can go into the dozens. So knowing the exact number will give you a clear picture of what you can expect.

Also, see if you should bring condoms and lube, as this is not something you might find at just every party; it depends greatly on the host (some sex parties are bareback).

Check this out: A Beginner’s Guide to Sex Parties by VICE

Choose your partners carefully

Knowing everyone at a sex party is mission impossible, but that’s the point of such parties, right? 

Not knowing someone and getting ready to get down with them is what sex parties are all about. 

However, it might be easier for you to have someone by your side as a plan B if you simply do not want to engage in sex with other members. 

In case you don’t have a “friend with benefits” or a friend that you can go with, you can always search for the best escorts and babes who will be into this kind of activity, and have them there as “your team”. 

This can do wonders for your self-esteem and comfort, so always have someone there that you will come with and who you can turn to if things don’t go as you expected.

Sleeping after group sex

Know what to wear

Sex parties do not always have dress codes, but it would be good for you to know what to wear. 

First and foremost, wear something comfortable that you can easily take off. 

Also, make sure that you don’t wear anything too expensive, as you never know where your clothes might end up in the end. 

In the same manner, think about wearing tall socks as these are the best items for you to keep your ID, your cash, and small essentials. You can also opt for a small bag that you will always have near you. 

You can also check with the host if there is going to be a clothing check, and in case it does, you will have to keep that check somewhere close to you, such as in the sock.

Mind your body language

In these settings, consent is very often non-verbal. 

That means that if you see someone blindfolded with their body ready on a bench or couch, that usually means that you have their consent to get down to business.

This means that the body language at such parties is very straightforward, so you should pay attention to your body language as well. 

Relaxing before group sex

You want to keep in mind that these parties are also a great way to zhoosh up your sex life, especially if you have been looking for a threesome with your partner but haven’t found the right person. In this case, make sure to let the third party know what they’re getting into because you want everything to be transparent.

The first time at a sex party is always bizarre, and it might make you feel a bit uncomfortable. 

But on the other hand, if this is something that you find hot, you will most definitely like it. 

Make sure you don’t make a mess, and always clean up after yourself. Know what you want, and remember – what happens at a sex party, stays at the sex party.

Guest author

Peter Minkoff
Peter is a sex and dating columnist for Queer Voices magazine. Follow Peter on Twitter for more tips.

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