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Hello from rainy New York!

Q&A journey continues! Our 17th guest is Anne Stagg, a talented writer and poet from Ohio, USA. Anne is the author of sex-positive erotica that can be read on her website or on Bellesa.co (all the important links are below).

Besides writing, Anne is actively promoting and supporting the creation of safe and healthy sexual spaces for women, LGBTQIA and BDSM/ kink community.

What also caught our eye is #fetchat, however, you’ll find details about that below in the Q&A where Anne shared all the details.

Before we continue,  we want to congratulate Anne for being one of Top 100 sex blogs of 2019 and also one of Top New Sex Blogs of 2019. *high-five moment* We’re looking forward to reading your writing!

You can reach Anne on her website, Instagram or Twitter profile.

Anne Stagg logo

Q&A – Anne Stagg

Can you tell us a bit about yourself?

I’m a pansexual, cis-woman (she/her) with a big mouth, a tall spouse, and a neurotic (but sweet) dog.

Four years ago, I had to re-define a massive chunk of my life when I became disable and was no longer able to continue working as a social worker and therapist. Writing erotic fiction, poetry, and creative non-fiction has been a gift.

And merging that love with my passion for advocacy and consciousness-raising has been incredible. 

We read some of your writing that is published on your blog and I have to say, it is awesome. Where can one find more of your writing? What are your favorite stories?

You can find my erotic fantasy series The Mount of Gaia, Volumes I – VII on Bellesa.co. There are also two stand-alone pieces on Bellesa.co, Performance Art, and Fearless. If you are politically minded and support reproductive freedom you can check out my contributions to 2019’s Smutathon. Smutathon is an erotica-writing marathon to raise money for The National Network of Abortion Funds in the US.

I’ve written some fanfiction in the Supernatural and Oz/Law & Order: SVU universes. You can find those on Archive of Our Own (AO3) under the user name 3_Patch_Problem_Child. They’re far less polished, but they’re worth the read.

In both cases, I just wanted the characters I loved to have happy endings (pun intended). Be warned, though, the Supernatural fanfic is Wincest, and the SVU/Oz crossover deals with recovery from sexual violence.  

As far as favorite stories go, I tend to binge on authors, not stories.

For instance, I read The Handmaid’s Tale for the first time when I was 20-ish and then proceeded to read every single book Margaret Atwood had ever written within a few weeks.

That being said, three of my favorite smut-smiths are Jayne Renault, littleblackfox (on AO3), and Aimée Maroux.  Jayne Renault has an incredible sense of raw vulnerability in her writing. You leave her work feeling seen. Littleblackfox often puts a different twist on fanfiction and takes beloved characters and creates incredible new worlds for them to explore. Aimée Maroux steeps her work in mythology. I’m weak for mythology and fantasy. 

Tell us something about your upcoming long-form project. What I read on your About Anne Stagg page sounds very interesting.

Set in 1876, in a small town in Vermont, the novel follows a young man who, grieving the death of a lover, leaves his home in Manchester, England, and moves to America. The child labor movement of the late 19th century and post Civil War reconstruction are the backdrops for an exploration of grief and love.

I’ve been working on it for almost four years, most of that time being dedicated to research. The spark for this story came to me because, as queer folks, in literature, we often see stories of triumphant spirit that end in tragedy.

The “bury your gays” trope (the queer character dying or suffering a significant loss at the end of a novel/short story) is something that even queer authors have seemed to internalize.

We rarely see queer characters move through grief, survive, and thrive. So, I wanted to challenge the trope by beginning with the tragic loss and following the path of healing and survival. 

There is also a bigoted narrative that the LGTBQ+ community emerged during the1960s and 1970s. The political/evangelical right would have folks believe we’re a plague on the morality of modernity.

It couldn’t be further from the truth. LGTBQ+ people have existed in society since the beginning. Even when there weren’t words to express our experience. Even when our very existence was criminalized. There are still places in this world where being LGTBQ+ is punished with imprisonment, torture, and death. 

Yet, we still find ways to love each other and live, even in the most culturally oppressive situations. I wanted to explore that idea. How do you live, love, and grieve when there’s no language to express your emotion? 

That’s how this novel was born. And I’m close to finally finishing. 

Do you have any writing advice or tips for people who are not natural-born writers, like us? Anything will help 😀

Three things.

Read. Read in the genre in which you write and outside. Explore classic texts and modern pieces. Allow yourself the space to study the work of authors you admire, as well as work you consider terrible. Nothing can teach you story structure and narrative voice more effectively than reading. 

Learn the mechanics of your craft. Grammar. Sentence structure. Form and function. All of those things are important, regardless of your genre and style. You can have a brilliant idea for a story, post, or poem, but if you can’t communicate it with strength and power, then it’s going to stay locked inside you.

Remember not everyone is going to love what you write. Some folks will hate your work. Sure, that hurts, but it’s a reality. Rejection is part of any artist’s experience. Find ways to parse out what’s useful from even the harshest criticism (if there’s anything worth taking away) and then allow the rest to float away.

Bonus tip: Follow submission guidelines to the letter. Most editors won’t even look at a piece if you haven’t followed the submission guidelines. 

Where do you get your inspiration from?

I find inspiration everywhere, from literature and art to politics and psychology. Nature. Industry. History. Mythology. My own experiences and how I interact with the world are integral to my writing. I see writing as an outward expression of my own vision from historical fiction to poetry to erotica.

What is #fetchat?

A year ago, an incredible erotica author Vanessa Page (@EroticaVPage on Twitter), started a weekly Twitter Chat for folks in the kink community.

Hence, #fetchat was born. Each week she would present a series of questions about a specific kink/fetish topic, and folks would answer, comment, and discuss in real-time. She would also invite people with a particular knowledge base to be guests and participate in the discussions.

It was terrific, and an incredible community grew from those Twitter Chats.  

After several months, life got hectic, and she was no longer able to host #fetchat. Another participant, photographer, and blogger Nikki from loveisafetish.com (@loveisafetish on Twitter) messaged me to ask if I’d be interested in approaching Vanessa to pick up co-hosting the chat with her.   

I respected Nikki a great deal and agreed. With Vanessa’s blessing, we re-launched #fetchat on April 24, 2019, and have been going strong since. 

Anyone can participate, #fetchat happens every week on Wednesday at 5pm EST. To find us, all folks need to do is follow the @Fet_Chat feed on Twitter or search the latest posts for #fetchat. We also archive past chats on Fetlife.com under the #fetchat group.

And the question I like to ask every sex toy reviewer – what are your favorite sex toys?

My go-to toy is the Khali by Bellesa.co. It’s incredibly powerful. The crook of the head combined with its size makes it a stunning g-spot stimulator, and the two fingers that surround the clit are mind-blowing.

It’s made of body-safe silicone, rechargeable, and waterproof.

Not to mention it has color-coded vibration patterns, which makes the Khali extra fun for partnered play, because begging my honey to “go purple” is so much easier than having to say “click four times until it’s on the highest pulse setting.”

My favorite position with the Khali is standing/leaning against a wall. Again, its shape lends itself to being able to hold inside with some minor clenching (and isn’t that more fun, anyway) if I’m playing solo or indulging my honey in a show. 

Another favorite in my rotation is the Rio Anal Vibe by VeDO. You can read my review here, complete with an unboxing video. It’s a simple toy, body-safe, easy to use, and a great first anal toy for folks who are just starting to explore. Not to mention, it’s water-resistant. The only drawback is it’s battery-powered. 

Finally, nothing can beat a hank of well-made rope. 

Any other links/ reading you’d like to recommend?

All the folks I’ve mentioned in this post are worth following and reading. Other people I’d suggest are:

Tabitha Rayne, https://tabitharayne.com: Tabitha is one of the folks I look up to, as an author, advocate, and artist. Her blog is a thoughtful, compelling read, and she’s responsible for bringing the world the Ruby Glow Vibrator and the #30DayOrgasmFun, Masturbation for a Mental Health Boost. 

Kayla Lords, https://kaylalords.com: She’s a blogging Goddess, is the mind behind the erotica community-building Masturbation Monday and does the Loving BDSM Podcast with John Brownstone. 

F Dot Leonora, http://fdotleonora.com: She writes amazing smut and is also responsible for Friday Flash, an erotica-meme weekly writing prompt.

Trans and Gender Non-conforming Voices: A post of mine that contains a list of some fantastic trans and GNC bloggers/content creators worth following. 

Thursday Thought: WTF is Wrong with People?: This post has a list of resources to get you started if you’re interested in supporting sex workers and sex worker’s rights. 

Polyamory: Facing Down Misconceptions on #fetchat: This post offers a list of some incredible bloggers/content creators/authors. They are all writing and educating about polyamory. 

That concludes this Q&A, big thanks to Anne for being our guest.

Before Anne, the last two Q&A guests were Jaylene Acheson from Femme Forth blog & Molly Carter from Your Best Sexual Self blog. Or, see the whole list of the Q&A guests.

Edit 11/05/20

Alice from Vanilla is the new kink reached out to us, suggesting one of their articles as a great addition to the information presented here.

Read Ethical Porn For Women, By Women: Our Guide To The Best Feminist Porn.

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