Safety and consent – the most important thing in a bedroom play
Safety and consent are important in every sexual act, not just in Bondage. Why is it so important?
The first thing to talk about is consent. If you and your partner had agreed on the terms of your play it is still very important to talk to your partner during the play. If you don’t want to hurt the dynamics and the play itself you should think about some ways of checking him/her to make sure your partner is comfortable and happy with the play. I think you should always agree on what is acceptable and what is not before the play. But sometimes it happens that the play just happens.
Let’s say you and your partner are doing these sessions for a while now and you really know each other and what feels comfortable to one another. This time you didn’t specifically prepare for your session and you feel a little crazy. Maybe you want to try something new, something you haven’t tried yet. Are you sure your partner is going to like it? Even if you are, you should still double check.
There is a way to do that without hurting the role play. For example, you can say (man to woman): “Are you horny for me baby? Do you like what I’m doing to you? You want me to keep going?”. These are simple questions to make sure she is enjoying it. After that, you can say: “I want to try something new, I want to slowly put my finger in your ass. Do you think you will like that?”.
If she says no – that’s a NO. But if she says yes then you are cleared to go. Do you think this is true and acceptable?
The problem with this type of play is that maybe your partner is really horny and in that place where she would say yes to anything. And if the two of you haven’t discussed this before, and she never said that she wants to try anal sex you shouldn’t do it. All of the above is okay if you know that your partner wants to try it. If you are just guessing – DON’T DO IT. Thinking it’s ok you can emotionally or even physically hurt your partner. And not just that, you can lose your partners trust. At the and you can lose the relationship you have. So NEVER GUESS, you need to KNOW.
That’s what consent is – getting a positive answer from your partner that it’s ok to try it when she/he is in right state of mind to make that decision.
SAFETY IN GENERAL
To know what is for you, what turns you on and what you want to try, you need to research. You need to know what you are getting into to be able to say yes or no. I recommend going through this with your partner so both of you are on the same page.
After that, you should set the limits. Saying loud and clear what is and what isn’t acceptable. That way even if you get caught up in emotions your partner will know that this is a no go. Maybe you can discuss it the next day for your next play. But this time it just won’t happen because you already said no. It is always about what you said and it always has to be respected.
Some acts you maybe think you want, but when the time comes it just doesn’t feel right. That is why we have SAFE WORDS. You should agree on the safe word so you can stop whatever feels uncomfortable at any time.
Remember – this should always feel good, for everyone participating.
SAFETY IN BONDAGE
You should never do bondage with someone you just met. You should do it with someone you know and trust. If you are unsure about your wishes and desires, always say no. A person that respects you will understand.
With that being said there are some safety measurements that should be followed:
- Never leave a bonded person alone – make sure that you change positions at least once an hour for circulation issues
- Never bond too tight – check body parts for coldness and numbness
- Always make sure that a bonded person can normally breathe
- Make sure that a bonded person can be easily and quickly untied (in case of emergency) – always have a pair of scissors so you can cut the rope if there is need to
- You should never be intoxicated for the safety of a person relying on you
- If you never tried bondage before – use some simple tools which you understand and know how to use
To make sure you know where not to tie a person it’s important to know where nerves and veins are in the body. A picture below will show you where you should never tie a person.
Being aware of the situation and knowing how important is to talk and agree with your partner makes every play enjoyable and fun. And at the end – that’s what is all about.