Sweet Queen joins us in the fourth edition of BDSM Q&A.
Sweet Queen is the next one to join us in accomplishing our goal – introduce people and us to the world of BDSM. The term BDSM has gotten very popular of the last few years and many people started to be curious. But, there are many questions that beginners may have and we hope this is going to make their lives easier.
Our next guest is Sweet Queen, an interesting lady that we liked from the first time we got in touch with her. Her energy and vibes are unbeatable. We are very glad that she decided to share her story with us. Sweet comes from Oregon, where she works as an entertainment columnist at PDXScene magazine.
MEET SWEET QUEEN
I am a sex positive advocate, which means I speak with a lot of people about sex and their sexuality. I’m comfortable discussing my desires, and do my best to engage others to be as fluid in sharing the most vulnerable parts of themselves.
To begin, I generally share that I have spent the majority of my life as a sexual being. I discovered my “private parts” at the young age of 4, while climbing in and out of the bathtub. I didn’t know exactly what was happening, and I think it’s important to point out that I did not truly climax that young, but I knew that it felt good. I believe that’s how we begin to understand our desires by looking at the places sexuality began making a mark in your world.
I can say that I have learned about the parts of my body many women are too ashamed to admit even exist. I have stuck a tampon in my vagina before my period began just because I wanted to know what penetration would feel like. I have enjoyed touching the parts of myself that bring me pleasure without the fear of judgment. I remember sharing a very personal story with my college Human Sexuality course about an all girls’ circle jerk at a teenage birthday slumber party.
I don’t accept the shame that society might attempt to place on me for being a “slut” because that word doesn’t offend me. I have been conditioned by our social norms to understand that a slut is sexually active and gets what she wants sexually. Sounds fanfuckingtastic to me! I’m a slut who is free in my orientation and behavior.
I lost my virginity at the age of 13, and began my first experience as an exhibitionist. I was wrapped up emotionally in this guy, and I wanted all of his attention. He wanted to finger me on the playground structure, so I let him. This doesn’t embarrass me to retell the story. He didn’t get me to orgasm but he tried desperately, and that’s when I learned how important “fake it till you make it” is in the young woman’s mind. The reason I don’t mind explaining the details is because this is classic exploring.
Exploring can look like two boys comparing their penis’ in the boys bathroom, it can be a couple fumbling around with their first threesome experience, or something as simple as when I child is being diapered and finds their genitals. We do role play like doctor and nurse, and “I’ll show you mine” games because we want to step out of our normal and try something new. Humans are very curious, and often need to use their senses to fully understand things.
I consider myself a sensualist and enthusiastically share my love of physical touch. I could be massaged until eternity. I also relish in the other senses that come alive when you become very mindful. Tastes, sounds, smells, and sights all have the same potential to arouse, and I am able to excite what I consider my primal side when these are engaged in me.
I like to explain that for me, I consider my primal side my wild and uninhibited nature, the one that operates purely from a desire to pursue and to be pursued. I definitely switch both ways and do not side as strictly dominant or submissive. I would rather play with all the aspects of my sexuality.
At the age of 21, I met a traditional, cis male and decided to give a relationship a try. I had already succumbed to the idea that I was not gay, because I was definitely interested in men. But I also understood that I was making a decision to remain a monogamous, cis female to be with that partner. I stayed committed to that goal and married him.
Nearly twenty years later, I would come to question that day of decision. Not the decision to marry a man, but the one to repress my bisexuality. I intentionally did not explore that because I did not feel safe enough in the support of the environment at that time. Thankfully, the current culture is far more accepting of the spectrum of human sexuality. When I approached my husband with my desire, he was not comfortable with my hope to try new experiences. I did not push.
Not very long after, I began to realize that I had given my power away. It hadn’t been taken from me, rather I was acting in the role as a wife and submitting to the whims of his wishes. I started to resent my decision about my sexuality. My marriage would eventually end, and I would go on to explore other dynamics, as well as grant myself space to explore with women and give some of my lifelong fantasies a try.
I now write for PDXScene Magazine, an alternative lifestyle resource for the community of Portland, Oregon. I live and work in the gorgeous state of Oregon, and spend as much time as possible adventuring with my boyfriend in the wilderness or taking our turn at a night in the scene.
I received a few questions recently that asked me to consider my kinky side. Enjoy my answers, and as always feel free to reach out to share your story, ask your question, or invite me to tea.
How did you notice that you could be into something kinky?
My earliest memories I am dancing around the living room in my nightgown while my parents socialize with their friends. They noticed me and commented. I had their attention. I like to think I first learned about teasing as a little girl parading around in my innocence. I remember they made remarks about my booty and panties, and that was the beginning of my kinky life. I discovered the art of being seductive, and quickly paid attention to what made desire grow. For me, kinky is attaching anything to a sexual response. I developed a taste for teasing, and then found out how I could do so with my panties.
Do you remember the first kinky experience you had?
I definitely have a panty fetish. Now I’m not wearing them on my head, but I do think if that’s your thing, then so be it. I love wearing panties. I love seeing how they fit. I love buying new ones. I love everything panties. I would spend all day lounging in my panties if I could. My first experience with panties is flashing them. I was flashing them very early and fed on the slightest encouraging nod to be naughty.
To this day, how far did you go?
I don’t know if I have any limits with panties. To be completely honest, I have explored the pee fetish in them, shot sexy pictures, created cameltoes, tried sex with pulling them to the side, I’ve even sent a dirty pair to someone in the mail, stuffing them in multiple places, and any kind of naughty thing I can think of. That leads me to wonder if I have explored it to the furthest, and my research continues.
We are sure you find Sweet’s story and answers invaluable as we do. Sweet thank you for everything, we are so happy you joined us here at Spices Of Lust. We encourage you to visit her site and find more about her. Share her story with your friends, we’d like to hear your opinions.
What is your story?