Are you and your partner stuck in a bedroom rut? It’s completely normal for couples to find themselves following a predictable pattern when it comes to sex.
While comfort and familiarity are invaluable, a little novelty can go a long way in reigniting that early relationship excitement.
Whether it’s the gentle exploration of new sensations or the thrilling dive into uncharted pleasures, shaking things up is key to maintaining both emotional and physical connections.
In this guide, we’ll share 19 creative ideas to help you break free from the monotony – all written by Filthy, Beautiful Sex readers.
From experimenting with new toys to exploring exciting role-playing scenarios, there’s something here for every couple looking to rediscover the joy of their intimate moments.
PS. Do not forget to vote because one idea is going to win a sex toy! You can vote for any number of ideas by leaving the comment below the article. Simply write the number of the idea(s) you’re voting for!
Ideas for breaking bedroom routine
#1 Draw box
We put together a draw box which has a mix of toys or positions to try (some new, some tried and true), different places to spice things up (like get spicy the kitchen, in the car, or even find a secluded place outside), scene/role play ideas, slow build up (like wearing a remote toy, going out for a date night and teasing each other until you can’t take it or until you get back home), and we even included certain surprise prompts (marked with Surprise on the outside for easy picking) which one partner can draw that will have a specific scene or prompt to surprise their partner with later.
These could be anything from a surprise massage that will slowly become an intimate/erotic moment, or handing your partner some glasses of water or something and immediately going down on them with hands/mouth while they have the cups keeping their hands occupied (obviously, discuss and make sure they are okay with pop-up seduction).
This concept of a draw your adventure box is great to keep things from being too repetitive and we’ve even started making them for non-erotic things like date night jar, or a travel jar to decide our next trip.
#2 Try something new
Try something new neither of you have tried before! Explore kink a bit. Maybe add a blindfold to start, or the fuzzy handcuffs. Have fun, don’t try to focus on doing it “right,” as long as its safe!
#3 Note trail
I like to plan a nice night. I’ll leave a note on the door for my GF to come in and grab a beer. On the fridge, I’ll have another note – go upstairs and take a nice hot bath. In the bathroom, I’ll have a note saying “after your bath, choose something to wear from this box”. The box contains sexy items that I enjoy seeing her in.
On the door, (leading to the bedroom) I have a final note. It will read something like, come in and prepare to be teased and pleased until you can’t take it any longer. I’ll be on the bed, ready with restraints, toys, and lotions.
#4 Create a text thread
Create a dedicated text thread (or use a secure app) and send each other porn clips, spicy pics, and/or fantasies throughout the day. Build up the tension by doing this all day or even for a few days before acting on some of the messages.
#5 Tech-enhanced temptation
Take advantage of the technological resources you have available. Something my wife and I have started doing is incorporating more sexual discussion over text and email.
Sexting, sharing pictures/gifs/videos, sharing articles and blogs, but always focusing on keeping the communication flowing.
It allows so much freedom to discuss new ideas, fantasies, kinks etc, by starting the discussion digitally, and allowing the ability to influence the day to day conversations as well. Bonus points for those who are stuck in the technology for work reasons, it gives couples a free chance to escape whenever the urge arises.
#6 Rope bondage
Rope! Rope bondage is both beautiful and potentially time consuming—the time spent tying is excellent bonding time. Plus, this is a lovely way to build trust. <3
Just be sure to be safe! There are many fantastic books on the subject, as well as information on the web. (Don’t try to learn just from watching porn lol).
#7 New paths together
After 22 years, my husband and I are just now starting to really explore and break out of our routine, which has been wonderful, but very consistent over two decades. It’s been really helpful to find websites and articles, like posted on FBS and quizzes posted online with ideas and things to try that really got the ball rolling.
I think first and foremost, is being open and honest with yourself and your partner to be able to explore what is beyond the routine.
After opening up discussions, there are so many different paths and opportunities that open up, but I feel like first is just being honest with yourself and communicating that with your partner. You may not always be on the same page, but at least it gets the doors open for communication, and I feel like that’s been the #1 thing for us to escape the routine.
#8 Flirty escape game
I like to start by texting little short “Heeyy”, “so sexy”, things like that to begin with while at dinner with friends or with a group from accross the room.
She does the same back.
It grows more intense as the evening goes along. More of a sexting at that point. We see who gets who all ramped up the most and make a game of who’s coming up with the excuse to leave first.
The person who tells the guests the random made up excuse(looses)why we must leave has to be submissive to the winner when we get home, or to the car, or sometimes behind the bushes!!! I admit she wins more than me, but it’s a fun little game we play.
#9 Try role-playing…
Try role playing, light BDSM, Take your sexlife out of the bedroom try some more risky places, Men start dating your wife again take her out make all the plans make her feel like you did when you were first trying to make her your girl.
Most importantly communicate ask her what she wants ,what she desires, ask her to tell you the fantasy she is dieing to try! Put in the effort to make her your top priority! And you will be surprised at the reaction you get. That’s a promise…
#10 Everyday intimacy
Make sure you’re maintaining the relationship outside the bedroom, too. Stress and tension between you or in your lives can be a mood killer.
Communication obviously.
But also having fun little moments together that don’t have to be sexual, or can be sex adjacent. Like spicing things up by asking which bra your partner wants you to wear, now they’re thinking of you in that bra all day. You don’t need big, elaborate gestures. The little things you do every day are what matter more than the big fancy date night.
#11 Plan something new
#12 Sexy arts and crafts
Put a sexy spin on arts and crafts! Set aside some time for you and your partner(s) to create art in an erotic way. Some ideas include sketching each other naked (even if your drawing skills are limited to stick figures), collaborating on a sexual “vision board” collage, making suggestive sculptures out of food or clay, or even coming up with a XXX pattern for your favorite craft.
This shouldn’t be a quiet activity; be sure to share your thought process or any sexy ideas you might be having as you work. It doesn’t matter the medium, or whether you’re good at it or not. The important thing is to have fun and connect!
#13 Weekend getaway
#14 Jenga blocks
#15 Browse together
#16 Kinky connections
The rut is less about a scenario or a scheme. In the end, how you escape is to increase intimacy between partners involved…that involves vulnerability.
For example, kink..what is not well understood is that a kink is just a spectrum of an act outside of commonly held norms..now, (laughing) that could be an act as common as oral sex.
Oral sex used to be seen as ‘depravity’, ‘something no decent person could enjoy’ for example, depending on when you look at it and evaluate it.
#17 Communicate & discuss
#18 Playful plays
From our workshop
ooh, other than mine (1) (cause it’s tacky to vote for yourself), I like 3, 8, 12, and 14!
17
Great ideas no doubt but my favourite is no’s 10, 12 & 14. your imagination is as broad as the night sky…. Bring it on…,,
so many great ideas. but I’m voting for #s 4, 5, 6, 15 and 18. there’s one or two weve done once or twice
1
I like 9, 14, 16 and 17.. Great ideas all around.
Based on the votes so far, it looks like 14 has taken the lead! Congratulations! Make sure to check your email for more information!
These are all good ideas and I have tried to implement many of them. For example, I told my spouse about some of my fantasies and desires that I had never shared before. She responded by saying that she did not have any fantasies. I think she was lying to me. I wonder who she would tell about her fantasies if not her husband?
I would try and talk to her about it – definitely not confront her and say she is lying but in general about sex and wishes and desires. There are many conversation card games (like our Bedroom Banter) that introduce many interesting questions in a playful way.