BDSM Aftercare: 10 Ways To Care For Your Sub

Many subs experience a phenomenon known as sub-drop following an intense scene. This is caused by a rush of chemicals in the brain and during play, can lead to a sense of euphoria called subspace. 

However, once this high is over, subs may experience physical and emotional symptoms ranging from sadness and shame to shivers and fatigue.

This is all due to these intense changes in neurotransmitter substances, and can leave a sub feeling vulnerable. 

Whether your sub experiences marked sub-drop or not, BDSM is usually an intense experience, and it’s important to be aware of their needs following play.

Here are 10 aftercare ideas that will help you to take care of your sub’s physical and emotional needs.

10 BDSM aftercare ideas

Apply first aid

Before anything else, it’s important to ensure your sub is physically taken care of. For example, if you have been engaging in impact play, attend to any wounds or bruises, or apply a soothing lotion to sore areas.

Offer painkillers and water

Bring your sub painkillers if needed and get them a drink of water to counteract the effects of dehydration. 

Provide emotional reassurance

As we already mentioned briefly, sub-drop can sometimes result in feelings of vulnerability after play. Make sure to talk to your sub in a soft, gentle voice, ensuring they feel happy and ok. Reassuring your sub that they did great and that you care about them is a perfect way to start.

Be receptive to their needs

This is where communication is vitally important. Sub-drop affects each person in a unique way. Some subs enjoy physical closeness and cuddling after play, but others prefer their own space. Your sub may want to talk things through immediately, or take a nap and have some quiet time.

Offer them a sugary supplement

Keep your sub’s favorite sugary snacks or sports drinks at hand to give them an energy boost and help deal with physical exertion.

Make sure your sub is comfortable

Bring your sub some cozy clothing to wear – this could be a robe, their favorite set of pajamas, or even an oversized t-shirt. 

Soothe their senses

Some subs love to have items at hand to attend to each of their senses (which may be overwhelmed). Things like scented candles, their favorite playlist and soft, comforting items are often really popular. 

Create an aftercare kit

On that note, it might be a nice idea to collect all of these key items and create a ‘kit’ for your sub. This ensures everything they need is easily to hand at all times.

Keep in touch

Sub-drop may not hit immediately, so it’s crucial to keep in touch with your sub for the next 24 hours or so (if you don’t live together). Make sure they know you’re there if they need to talk. 

Follow up after a few days

It’s a great idea to discuss your scene a few days on, after all of the initial emotions have calmed down.

A few days of reflection will allow you both to rationally evaluate the experience and discuss with each other what you think went well, what you would change next time (if anything) and how you felt during and after your scene. 

Doms need aftercare too

Although this article is focused on a submissive partner, it is important to know that Dominants need aftercare too.

There is a stereotype going on that Doms don’t need reassurance or aftercare…but that is….wrong.

Doms can also experience a drop or feel fatigued after the play. However, they are usually focused on the other person, and conversation and focus rarely switches to them.

If you’re in a relationship, balance is the key. And if you’re a professional Dom, a friend or partner can help you.

As with anything in BDSM, communication is the key to success when it comes to navigating aftercare.

It’s always a worthwhile idea to sit down with your sub and go over what their needs are following a scene, drawing up a tailored aftercare plan to suit them. 

Why not show your sub these ideas and let them decide on anything they would like to implement into their aftercare routine?