Q&A: Brigit Writes

Second Q and A, answered by Brigit Delaney – author of the blog Brigit Writes.

If you still haven’t read our Question And Answer, you can check it out now and get the hang of what we are trying to do with this. You can also check out how Amy Norton – author of the blog Coffee&Kink answered to these questions as the first one to share the experience.

In this article, we are moving forward with sharing both experience and advice. Today, Brigit Delaney is answering the questions.

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Brigit Writes

Brigit Delaney is a sex blogger that’s been writing for years. She writes erotic fiction and quite a bit of non-fiction about marriage, sex, and D/s. Her blog has been changing and growing and it still is.

Brigit’s husband is a big part of her blogging and it makes us happy to know that we are not alone in this journey.

Her stories are based on true experiences and she is openly writing about her marriage and sex life, and that is definitely what we like most about her. She is not pretending perfection, she is just simple. But her Friction stories are just a delight making you want to read more and more.

You can find Brigit’s blog here and her Twitter account here.

We were really excited to read her answers and we hope you will be too. So without further delays:

Q&A – Brigit Delaney

How did you notice that you could be into something kinky?

It’s hard to remember back to the first time I thought I’d be into something kinky. Plus, what is “kinky” to one person may not be “kinky” to another.

Our levels of kink and experience are so varied. I guess the first time would be all the way back when I was in high school. I had a boyfriend who dug his fingernails into my skin over and over, and the “almost” pain of it was a huge turn on – I actually had an orgasm without skin-to-skin genital contact.

Later, there was a moment early in my marriage when I realized that my husband’s hand around my neck pushed me over the edge of an orgasm. I asked him to try “choking” me, lightly, the next time we had sex, and it was super hot.

Do you remember your first kinky experience?

see #1

To this day, how far did you go?

My husband and I have engaged in threesomes and foursomes, added occasional spanking, light bondage, D/s, and our sex is sometimes of the “consensual non-consent” type.

Would you recommend BDSM activities to a friend, to try it out? Why?

Absolutely! As long as they feel comfortable with it and are willing and able to communicate openly with their partner about their desires, boundaries, and feelings afterward. Also, mutual interest and consent are musts!

Would you say, that one could benefit from introducing BDSM or some light aspects of it, into his/ her life?

I believe so. For me, D/s is almost an issue of mental health support. Being a submissive allows me to let go of so much when I walk in my front door at night.

It lightens my load and engages my ability to be more mindful and focused and our relationship. Our marriage runs more smoothly when we are happily engaged in 24/7 D/s, because we both know our roles and expectations are clear.

We communicate better and handle conflict in healthier ways.

What would you say to a beginner, where to learn and how to start with BDSM?

There are quite a few good books out there and some great websites. Plus, reading other people’s experiences on blogs is also helpful. I’d caution any beginner, though, to realize that one size does not fit all and there is no one right or wrong way to go about it.

How can single people get involved with BDSM community?

I’d check out Fetish.com or Fetlife. They both have a way to set up a personal profile, email others, collect friends, join groups or forums to learn about elements of BDSM, and ways to learn about local BDSM events.

What is the best way for someone to get into BDSM life? Are there any learning materials you would suggest?

See #7, plus, I personally really like reading personal accounts and memoirs. I enjoyed Alison Tyler’s Dark Secret Love trilogy (fictionalized autobiography) and Diary of a Submissive by Sophie Morgan. I learn a lot just reading blogs from other sex bloggers, as well.

In general, do you think that being open to new things and trying out something like BDSM or similar, can help couples in their life/ sex life?

Yes, I do. Most long-term relationships have a tendency to get stuck in a sexual rut over time, and spicing things up can keep a stale bedroom from ruining a relationship.