Erotic Spanking For Beginners: How To Spank Your Partner

When you think of kinky sex or BDSM, what’s the first thing that comes to mind? Thanks to mainstream media, the chances are it’s erotic spanking. But what is erotic spanking and how do you spank your partner?

Well, for us, erotic spanking is an absolute essential, and depending on your preferences, it can fit as either a reward or a punishment (or a bit of both)!

We get it – venturing into the realms of impact play can be daunting, but it really needn’t be.

In fact, dabbling with spanking can be the ideal first bridge into the world of kink (if that’s what you’re looking for).

The key when introducing spanking to your sex life is, as always, communication and starting out slowly.

So, you’ve spoken to your partner and you’re both ready to give it a go! But where do you start?

Here are just a few key things you should know before getting your spank on…

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How to spank your partner?

Establish safe words

When practicing anything intense in the bedroom, safe words are absolutely key. You may already have some in place, but if not, pick out a memorable and unique word that your partner can say if they want to stop.

Where to spank your partner?

There are a few different areas of the butt that are prime spanking spots, but the best is probably the underside of the cheeks and the fullest part of the butt.

Be sure to avoid areas near the lower back, as spanking too close to their tailbone or kidneys is not a great idea.

…and keep it varied!

Try spanking your partner in a few different areas and alternate between these. Not only can this extend the fun, but it’s a great idea to avoid bruising and pain afterward.

Start soft and build up the intensity

If your partner has never been spanked before, they’re unlikely to know what sort of intensity they prefer. Don’t make them dive in at the deep end! Be patient, start gently and build things up – you will both soon get an idea of your preferences and the techniques that work best for you.

Image source: Imgur

Mix up your method

Make an impact with your fingers for more of a sting, or for a louder noise, use the palm. When starting out, try to keep your hands in a ‘cupped’ position, as this is generally a little less intense and may reduce bruising.

Rub the area after each impact

Another effective way to reduce the risk of bruising and subdue pain for your partner is to gently rub the area after each strike.

Image source: Imgur

Be aware of bodily changes

Take note of how their skin changes after each spank, and monitor their breathing and bodily cues to help you recognize if they’re nearing their limit.

Keep checking in with your partner throughout, especially if this is totally new to them (or you).

Experiment with different instruments

When it comes to spanking, the world really is your oyster.

Sure, spanking with your hand can be super erotic (and might just be what you prefer), but hell, the possibilities are endless. Once you’ve got to grips with the basics, why not progress to trying a flogger or paddle, for example?

In fact, once you’re fully integrated into the world of spanking, even the most everyday objects will soon be fraught with potential (you’ll never look at a wooden spoon the same again – we’re not sorry).

If you want to surprise your or your partner’s ass, take a look at the spankers section at The Sex Shed.

Include dirty talk

Dirty talk and spanking go hand in hand (if you can excuse the pun), and we highly recommend incorporating them into your session.

Something as simple as asking your partner to count each impact or beg you for more can be super hot (as always, consent and communication are key here!)

Make sure to prioritize aftercare

This one is especially important if it’s been a rough or particularly hard spanking session. Rub the area with lotion and offer your partner painkillers if needed.