Fancy the pants or yourself? If you think you’re the hottest totty in the room and would rather fuck yourself than fuck a lover, you might be autosexual. Autosexuals can still engage in play and have relationships with other people, but they typically are more turned on by themselves than by others.
Like many of my friends, I love to masturbate so I guess you could argue I have autosexual tendencies. For some, autosexuality is a bigger deal – they prefer self-stimulation to sex with others and even have naughty dreams about themselves. They might even ditch the thought of getting it on with anyone else at all, and I sort of get it. After all, why bother with others if you’re having a ball with yourself?
Autosexual Vs Autoromantic Vs Autoerotic
There’s a lot of autos here to deal with, and I think the first thing to address is that you don’t have to get stuck with a label. It’s fine to enjoy a bit of everything and you can identify as more than one thing at any given time.
As I’ve already mentioned, autosexual beings are sexually aroused by themselves. Autoromantics are also into themselves, but their attraction is on a romantic level rather than a sexual one. I must admit this sounds pretty cool too – it’s a great excuse to buy myself flowers and treat myself to a swanky dinner with fine wine.
This takes us nicely onto the next auto, autoeroticism. If you’re into autoeroticism you like to masturbate. This sounds very similar to autosexuality, but there is a difference. To summarize, autosexual refers to a sexual orientation whereas autoerotic refers to a sexual act.
Autosexuality: fact or fiction?
Doubters may say that being autosexual isn’t a real thing, and they might tell you it’s not a genuine orientation, but who are they to judge? After all, you can be who you want to be, and if that’s someone who prefers being aroused by themselves rather than by others then so be it. You might decide you’re autosexual and run with that, or you might opt to try out autosexuality in response to something that’s happened in your life.
A friend of mine (we’ll call her Lucy) has recently come out of yet another rubbish relationship. She seems to have had a run of bad luck in this department, both emotionally and physically. The first guy cheated on her, the second was a selfish lover who just wanted to cum and go, and the third got drunk so often he could barely hold a conversation, let alone get it up.
Tired of the drama and lack of fun, Lucy took matters into her own hands and decided to swear off sex and relationships for a while, adopting autosexuality as her new approach. My friend asked why she should continue trying to please everyone else when it was easier to please herself – and she has a point. Lucy brought some sexy undies, invested in a few new sex toys, and voila – her next Friday date night was spent drinking champers in bed with a new vibe for company.
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Am I autosexual?
There’s no need to give yourself a label, but you might be wondering if you’re autosexual or have a predilection for autosexuality. Exploring can be fun, so don’t be afraid to delve into your preferred orientations and discover more about your likes and dislikes. Take some time out to think about attraction, sex, and arousal, and ask yourself a few questions such as:
- Are you regularly attracted to others, if so what type of people are you drawn to?
- Do you like to have sex with other people, and if so, do you tend to have a “type?”
- Do you love to masturbate, and would you choose to do that over fucking a lover?
- Do you like to fantasize? What do your fantasies involve?
Sexual self-awareness can help you become more intimate with yourself and others and it’s also a great way to enjoy better sex and orgasms. You don’t have to tell anyone and everyone about your sexual self, or what turns you on. It’s enough to relish the power of knowing what you desire and put it to good use.
Autosexual ways to play
If you’re autosexual you’ll be engaging in autoeroticism (playing with yourself) and that’s always fun. Luckily there are plenty of plays to get yourself off. You can go for a straightforward hand or finger job, using your digits to frig your pussy or your hand to wank your cock. Both are highly effective and should get you to the finish line.
You can also invest in a sex toy or two, and if you go down that road you’ll be spoiled for choice. Opt for a vibrator, a dildo, a love egg, a clit massager, anal beads, a cock ring, or a full-blown ride on sex machine – the opportunities are endless. Masturbation doesn’t have to be a technical session, you can still engage in foreplay by enjoying an erotic movie and touching yourself sensually, and don’t forget to indulge yourself afterward too. I find expensive chocolate, a fluffy blanket, and a glass of something fizzy perfect after an explosive self-induced orgasm.
Solo play can be just as effective as playing with a lover, and if autosexual play is your predilection you’ll be in your element. Enjoy teasing and turning yourself on in a variety of ways and make sure you please yourself. Thankfully you don’t have to worry about being a selfish lover – autosexuality is all about you!
By Astolaine.
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