This insightful guest post was written by our friend Daire Faust from Smut Geek.
Whether it’s sticky, slick, warming, cooling, or strawberry flavored, lube should be everyone’s best friend. It is definitely the most versatile and beneficial tool in the sex toy box.
Not only can lube be fun it also helps us to have safer, more comfortable sex.
Today we’re diving deep into what lube is, why it’s used, and ways to use it even if you think it’s not needed.
What is Sex Lubricant?
Lubricant or lube is the slick substance we use to make sex go smoothly, especially when penetrating yourself or your partner no matter if its with penises, toys, fingers, or otherwise. It comes in all types of sensations, flavors, and recipes to suit different people and desires.
Body Safe Lubrication
The most important thing when looking into what lube is and choosing the right one for you is making sure that they are made with body-safe ingredients. When putting anything in your orifices, you want to ensure that they won’t harm you or any partners you might have.
There are three kinds of sex lubricants defined according to their base ingredient – water, oil, or silicone.
Water bases are the easiest to procure and can be used with all manner of materials including latex condoms and sex toys.
Oil bases (or oils alone like coconut oil) are longer lasting but can break down latex condoms.
Silicone bases are also long-lasting but are not recommended for use with silicone toys and have a higher chance at reactions for people with sensitivities.
Ingredients to avoid include glycerine, petroleum jelly or petrolatum, and nonoxynol-9. Of course, also avoid any ingredients, colorants, or flavorings you or your partners are allergic to.
When testing a lubricant, do a skin patch test to make sure you don’t have any reactions.
The last thing you want is to learn you’re allergic to an ingredient by dealing with inflamed genitals.
Simply get a small amount of the lube on your fingertip and rub it on a small area of the insides of your forearm. Wait 15-20 minutes before washing off. If you experience redness, itching, or hives, do not use and look for another lube to try.
When bringing lube into play, start with a few drops to check out its slickness (and how messy it might be) and continue to add as needed.
Read 6 Best Lubes for Sex to Try in 2020.
The many ways to use a sex lubricant
Lube is one of the most versatile tools in our sex and kink arsenal.
Sadly, it has gotten a reputation as only in use for people experiencing menopause or only used for anal sex. While lube is fantastic for slicking things over when we’re feeling a bit dry (which can happen to any vagina no matter the age), its got so much more going for it.
Lube is fantastic and sometimes mandatory for the kinkier play we might be into.
For example, fisting without a lubricant is near impossible and dangerous as forcing a hand into a vagina or anus can cause tissue tearing, bruising, and other damage.
Whole play experiences can be inspired and focused on lube. There are kinksters with slick fetishes that include wanting to be slathered in the substance and roll around in it. Other lube fetishists load themselves up internally to experience a sensation of fullness. I’ve been to kink parties that feature lube play including how much lube can an orifice take.
Add lube to roleplay! A witchy seductress with a love potion for your genitals? Tentacle dildo-wielding manga girl complete with slick slaps on the inner thigh? Some companies create a lube that imitates the look and texture of cum as well as toys with pumping mechanisms to simulate ejaculation. These are great for roleplay, genderplay, and more. Let your imagination run wild and see what secret desires you have that lube can help your sex life slip into.
Our less wild sex experiences can also benefit from lubrication. While most condoms come pre-lubricated, its usually not a large amount and could always benefit from more. Being wary of slippage, perhaps try lubricating the penis before slipping the condom on to add to the wearer’s sensation.
Anal sex should certainly include lubricant as our anuses are not self-lubricating (no matter what some badly written fiction might have you believe). The best lubes for anal play are long-lasting ones. Some companies make lube specifically engineered for anal pleasure. Be sure to lubricate not only the anus but also whatever you use to penetrate it for the best results.
Masturbation with a lubricant can create a smoother experience. Use these moments of self-pleasure to experiment with different lubes. Find out what sensations, scents, and even flavors you prefer. Knowing what you like is the first step to sharing with others and making sure partnered or group experiences in the future are more satisfying.
Add lube to foreplay to give yourself and/or your partner a slick and sticky genital massage to ramp up the desire for the big event. Try lube on different parts of each other’s bodies. Some lubes can feel really good on nipples as well as genitals and the anus. Other lubricants, especially if you’re using all-natural oil, can double up as massage oil.
Warm the lube up in your hands or get a lube warmer for the bedside for a less clinical sensation. Don’t worry about reaching for the lubricant in the midst of play either. Rather than worrying that the need for lube means you or your partner aren’t into what is going on think of it as helping amp up and prolong the fun.
When in doubt, add more lube
There are no rules as to the amount of lube you can or should use but, you really can’t use too much lube. I’ve even seen adult lube wrestling (it’s really fun, you should check it out if there are any matches in your area).
From our workshop
Nice article! Thank you… vaseline is one of my fave lubes for masturbation, but why not use it on my ass? I wouldn’t want to put it in a vagina since it’s not water soluble. I read once online that vaseline residue in the butt gets pushed out with the next couple movements. Thoughts? Thanks!! –Mike, in Seattle
Hey Mike! I would use vaseline as an option if there is nothing else around. Yes, it does stick way longer and might take couple of days to entirely leave the body which might help invite bacteria/infection. It also weakens condoms and can be messy and hard to clean. I prefer using a water lube although silicone lube can be pretty good for anal routes.