Q&A: Girly Juice

Our guest for the third edition of BDSM Q&A is Kate Sloan, the author of the blog Girly Juice.

We are on the mission to bring the world of BDSM closer to you and to us.

The idea is to do that through a series of articles with anybody who is willing to share his or her experiences and advice. Spices Of Lust team came with 11 questions that we find somehow relevant and important for beginners in BDSM.

Until now, we published BDSM Q&A with Amy Norton, author of the blog Coffee&Kink and with Brigit Delaney, author of the blog Brigit Writes.

All of the articles are worth checking out – you can find some really good advice.

UPDATE:

We published more Q&A articles since this one. You can find an updated list of all the articles here.

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Girly Juice

Kate Sloan is a sex writer, podcaster and speaker.

She started her blog – Girly Juice, 6 years ago and since then she built wide readership for it. Her work is featured in online publications like Cosmopolitan, Vogue and Glamour and magazines like Maisonneuve, Herizons, and the Walrus. Furthermore,

Girly Juice is listed as Sex Blogging Superhero on Kinkly.com. We highly recommend her blog, if you like reading about sex and similar topics.

Kate is also a co-host of a podcast name ”The Dildorks’‘, where she and Bex Caputo chat about everything sex-related – also worth checking out.

Q&A – Kate Sloan

How did you notice that you could be into something kinky?

I really thought I was vanilla until I was about 22, at which point I started reading a lot of kinky Sherlock fanfiction and having submissive feelings toward a professor of mine, and I realized I might be kinkier than I’d previously thought.

After that, I started getting into things like light spanking and sensory deprivation, and things progressed from there!

Do you remember your first kinky experience?

I had a friend with benefits in high school who was luckily as nerdy about sex as I was. Together we tried strap-on sex and foot worship, among other things. I wasn’t thinking of those activities as kinky back then, but more as fun experiments.

To this day, how far did you go?

I don’t really think of kink as a spectrum from mild to wild; I think all kink activities are equally valid, and even the ones that seem basic can be extreme and intense under certain circumstances.

That said, some of the more “out-there” kink activities I’ve done include knife play, watersports, erotic hypnosis, trampling, and electrostimulation.

Would you recommend BDSM activities to a friend, to try it out? Why?

If they’re into it, sure! I think many people would benefit from shaking up their sex life with a rush of novelty, but much like some people decisively know they’re gay or straight from a young age, some people know with relative certainty that they’re vanilla, and that’s fine.

Would you say, that one could benefit from introducing BDSM or some light aspects of it, into his/ her life?

I think participating in BDSM can make you a better sexual communicator, and it can give you a greater appreciation for the broad range of sensations your body is capable of feeling.

For those reasons, it can improve your sex life even if you only try it once!

Beyond that: there’s increasing evidence in psychological science that BDSM has mental and emotional benefits, so it’s worth exploring for those reasons too, if it interests you.

What would you say to a beginner, where to learn and how to start with BDSM?

KinkAcademy.com is the single best resource I’ve found on BDSM anywhere. It houses hundreds of videos where kink activities are explained and demonstrated by educators who know what they’re doing. I highly suggest subscribing and diving in!

I would also recommend any and all instructional books written by Tristan Taormino or Violet Blue, two absolute geniuses who know their shit.

How can single people get involved with BDSM community?

Look on FetLife and find local “munches” (kink meetups) to go to, where you can meet potential new friends and play partners.

These events are designed to be less intimidating than, say, a play party, so you can chat with people in low-pressure ways and you don’t even have to take your clothes off.

I would also suggest researching your kink(s) online. Seeing other people doing the things you want to do can both inspire you and comfort you, especially if you’re grappling with guilt or shame about your desires.

What toys/equipment should a beginner have?

Depends what you’re into! Some things that are useful for a broad range of scenes include a blindfold, a wand vibrator, under-the-bed restraints, and a versatile impact toy (e.g. a paddle where both the face and the side of the toy are useable for impact).

Every sexually active person should also have lube on hand (my faves are Sutil Rich and Sliquid Sassy) and probably some condoms.

Do you have a favorite BDSM play/ equipment?

Everything by Weal & Breech is absolutely beautiful and well-made; I have four toys from them (a paddle, a mallet, a truncheon, and some nipple clamps) and I love all of them.

My Sportsheets under-the-bed restraints get a ton of use. They’re the easiest way to infuse an element of bondage into your scene.

I also love everything I own by Aslan Leather, including wrist cuffs and my beloved harness. Their products are handmade in my hometown so I have a soft spot for them!

That’s it, folks. I hope you enjoyed Kate’s kinky answers.

We picked the last answer as the best one, as a matter of fact, I think we’ll get the restraints for ourselves. Be good, be kinky.