Consensual Non-Consent: Your Guide To CNC Scenes

Trigger warning: This article is about the consensual non-consent and involves topics, like rape fantasies, that could be sensitive for some readers.

Practicing BDSM is a kink loved by many lovers who either do it or fantasize about it.

The success of E. L. James’s books Fifty Shades of Gray, which became the best-selling trilogy of the decade, proves that most people secretly like BDSM.

BDSM involves different aspects of sex – bondage and discipline (B&D), dominance and submission (D&S), and sadism and masochism (S&M).

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Consent and safe words in BDSM

BDMS is not about doing whatever you want – it is built on mutual respect, trust, and clear boundaries between two or more lovers.

Consent in BDSM means that you agree to certain sexual or non-sexual acts before the play session. Safewords are a common practice in BDSM, and if we used them during sex, the action should be stopped immediately.

Consensual non-consent in BDSM

Some BDSM acts like bonding, spanking, and dominant role-play are well known and practiced by many. But some BDSM topics are still taboo – even in the BDSM community – and one of them is consensual non-consent.

The consensual non-consent or CNC is the type of BDSM play that includes the act of non-consensual behavior. It is the mutual agreement where the dominant participant can play as if he doesn’t have the consent of the submission partner.

CNC scene is about mimicking kidnapping, torturing, raping, punishments, and other sexual or non-sexual acts that the submission lover “doesn’t want.”

Before the CNC scene

Consensual non-consent is about trust, boundaries, consent, and open communication. The most important thing about CNC is the consent given before the start of the play.

To practice this explicit part of BDSM, you need to know and trust your lover.

Open communication is key to a pleasant CNC experience, and nothing should be left in the dark. Before the CNC session, you should discuss the whole scene so that all participants know what they are getting into.

Talk about fantasy, scenarios, boundaries, and safe words. All participants must agree on what is allowed and what is not – for example, what body parts can’t be involved.

Setting clear boundaries is the essential step before you start with the CNC play. Lovers should also think about how the play will end if someone changes their mind.

Safewords in CNC scenes

Choose a safe word before diving into the CNC world, and if you use it, the sexual act should stop immediately.

The safeword is crucial for submissive and dominant partners, so they both know when to stop. The safewords in CNC play are not only for the submissive lovers to end the activities they don’t want.

The safeword also assures dominant participants that they can continue their actions if the word has not been used.

The line between consent and non-consent can quickly seem violated for newbies in the CNC scene. The safeword provides trust and comfort between both or more lovers.

During the CNC scene

Most people like to take a shot or two of alcohol before exploring their sexual boundaries, but if you are new to the CNC world, don’t get drunk before.

We also don’t recommend experimenting with drugs, when you plan to explore the CNC scene. Alcohol and drugs can blur your mind and confuse your prior decision about consent.

Countless partners love to practice CNC while the submissive participant is drugged or asleep, either pretending or in reality.

But this should be a plan for the future – beginners should experiment soberly. CNC fantasy should always be discussed and planned before.

To make it spicier, you can agree on the day but not on the time of the scene. This will build up the tension and give the dominant lover more chances to surprise his submissive lover.

A submissive partner can also shock a dominant lover with various escape and resistance techniques.

CNC scene is about giving total power and permission to your dominant lover. But at any time of the scene, the spirit of play and acting must be present! CNC scenes should be fun and safe for all lovers.

After the CNC scenes

Aftercare is an act after the BDSM session when both lovers take the time to recover and check their emotional and mental state.

This should be a time to relax and talk about the experience. Aftercare gives lovers reassurance that what happened was purely play with no damage done. Aftercare following the CNC scene may be different for some people. The usual cuddles and affection can be difficult for dominant participants.

Some lovers can’t receive love immediately after the CNC scene because the act of abuse-play can cause genuine emotions, such as anger or sadness.

Feelings after the play, especially for beginners, can’t be predicted, so all participants should take their time, space, or whatever they need to recover. Aftercare after the CNC session can take more time and affection and should allow both partners to relax.

It is also the perfect time for lovers to talk about the experience. You can discuss what you liked and what you didn’t, and use this feedback for the next CNC sessions.

As mentioned before, open communication is the key for lovers to feel safe and great after any style of BDSM.