Q&A: Lady Pim

Q&A from Pro Domme perspective.

One after another, slowly, we came to 9. Q&A article. We hosted Q&A’s with several sex bloggers, one sex columnist and today, our guest is a professional Dominatrix.

Not only she shared her thoughts and experiences on our usual question, but she also shared some spicy information about her services.

Read on!

Q&A – Lady Pim

How did you notice that you could be into something kinky?

Very early on.  Ken kidnapped my Barbies and tied them up.  Made them do humiliating things.  As a child, I played with all my toys this way.  Though it took me a while to realize that as an adult, I could play this way, too.

Do you remember the first kinky experience you had?

My first full-blown kink scene was with a Dom who had a very detailed negotiating process.  It was a very good first experience to have.  One of the first things he did was bite me hard on the neck, and everything just clicked for me, in my brain.

This was the kind of sex that I have been looking for.  Primal, aggressive, passionate.  I remember thinking that he should be charging me money for it.  We did a bunch of scenes together over a short period of time, containing objectification, bondage, forced orgasm, impact play, and water sports.

We soon parted ways due to other relationship circumstances.

To this day, how far did you go?

Well, I’m a Professional Dominatrix now, and almost all the sex I have is kink centric.  I’m a switch in my personal life, so I have a lot of experience on both sides.  I’m still always looking to try something that I haven’t tried before, and acquire new skills as a Top.

I take workshops on the regular and am always purchasing new toys to try out.

Would you recommend BDSM activities to a friend, to try it out? Why?

If someone ever seems curious to try kinky play, I recommend they do some research first on safety practices.  If you hit someone in the wrong place, you could do damage.  If you call call someone a particular name, it could trigger them. 

If you restrain someone too tightly, you could do harm.  If there is miscommunication around boundaries, someone could end up feeling violated.  After you’ve done a bit of research on whatever you’d like to try, my advice would be to start light, go slow, and keep talking to each other.      

Would you say, that one could benefit from introducing BDSM or some light aspects of it, into his/ her life?

It could be as simple as mixing up your sex life.  Lots of folks desire to “spice things up” in the bedroom.

Playing with some light kinks could stimulate new parts of your body and mind.  It also could be a bonding experience between you and your partner.  It can be a vulnerable thing to try something new, and it takes trust and openness to go on a journey of discovery together.

Even if the particular kink you’re experimenting with may not be for you, there is usually something valuable to take away from trying.  I also recommend trying one kink in a couple of different ways before totally giving up on it.  A spanking scene, for example, can look a hundred different ways.  Try changing up the intensity, the intention, and the implements.  Try it within a role play.  Try adding other stimulation at the same time.

What would you say to a beginner, where to learn and how to start with BDSM?

As a Pro Domme, I have to recommend seeing a Professional.  I see so many folks who are looking to try a bunch of light to moderate things and see what they like.  I have a fully stocked dungeon, it’s discreet to book with me, and I’m a trusted, experienced play partner, who’s main focus will be your safety, well being, and pleasure.

How can single people get involved with the BDSM community?

Going to munches and other IRL kink events is a great way to meet people. Every city has them.  Fetlife is the best way to find local kink events in your area.

 What is the best way for someone to get into BDSM life? Are there any learning materials you would suggest?

As for books: Screw The Roses, Send Me The Thorns, Different Loving: The World of Dominance and Submission, The Topping Book, and The Bottoming Book are all great staples. I would also recommend going to some of the kinks themed workshops at your local sex shop or dungeon.

In general, do you think that being open to new things and trying out something like BDSM or similar, can help couples in their life/ sex life?

Openness is a great thing to exist in any relationship.  Ideally, all our relationships operate as shame-free, judgment-free spaces.  But, equally, we should realize that kink is not for everybody.  It’s okay to try something, and not enjoy it.

Likewise, it’s okay to like one kink, but within very specific boundaries around it.  The act of negotiating a kink scene takes real communication skills.  These skills can be applied to other parts of your relationship, as well.

Most kinksters are great communicators.

What toys/ equipment should a beginner have?

Kink doesn’t have to be expensive. There are lots of kinks that you can do with no implements or equipment at all.  Most of the kink, is engaging your imagination, and playing with a power dynamic.

Besides, you have ten little implements attached to your palms.  Your hands and fingers can deliver such a variety of stimulation: scratching, pinching, grabbing, flicking, caressing, slapping, punching, teasing, pulling, digging, massaging…

There are many items that you probably already have around your home, as well.  Do you have a pair of regular winter leather gloves? Try spanking with those.  Do you have scarves or neckties lying around at home? Use them for bondage.

Do you have a cutting board or cheese board in your kitchen? Try an impact scene with that. If you’d like something that’s actually engineered for kink play, there should be plenty of low price point options available at your local sex store.  As for what I would recommend a beginner to pick up, it would vary widely on what sort of kink they are interested in indulging.

Do you have a favorite BDSM play/equipment?

I like the crop.  It’s a correctional tool.  It’s longer, so I can tap it on someone’s bum if they’re crawling, and not have to bend down.  I can reach around and correct someone while they’re fellating my dildo.

It’s got a small enough head, that I can hit a smaller area, like a nipple, or a clitoris.  I can be relatively far away, and still, deliver a teasing sensation with it.  And if I really swing it, it can leave quite the mark.