Flogging, creating moans of agony and pleasure through the ages. Being used in ancient times as a punishment, and is now more known in the modern world as a means of sexual pleasure. Here are my best tips for flogging.
The use of flogging as a punishment dates back to ancient times. It was mentioned in the Code of Hammurabi, a collection of Mesopotamian laws from the 18th century BC, and it also appears in the Bible.
In the Roman Empire, flogging was often used as a form of torture, and it continued to be employed as a punishment during the Middle Ages. Flogging became increasingly common as a form of punishment in the early modern period. (Brittanica)
In fact, floggers of various kinds, such as whips and cat-o-nine tails, were used in the Black Plague. Yup, you got flogged to cleanse yourself of your sins, so you didn’t get sick… while we may have identified the sadism/masochism side of the sex world, pain mixed with pleasure has always been in human nature.
Flogging is defined as a form of corporal punishment in which a person is whipped with a rod, whip, or other instruments. This is its definition in the vanilla world, however, when you enter into the kinky world it’s got a different meaning.
In the kinky world, flogging is a form of impact play involving a tailed whip. It involves striking the body with usually a whip, to cause pain and in a lot of cases, pleasure. Many people find flogging to be pleasurable, and it can be used as a form of foreplay or as an element of sex, or a BDSM scene.
What defines a flogger though? A flogger is a type of whip that has multiple tails or “falls” made of leather, suede, or other materials.
Other similar types of whips can also be used for flogging, such as a cat-o-nine tail. A cat-o-nine tails whip is a weapon that consists of nine knotted cords attached to a handle. It was historically used as a tool for flogging and is still used in BDSM play.
Flogging nowadays can still be used as a form of punishment, however, it should be consented to. A punishment consented to? Yes, in the BDSM world, punishments, no matter what the punishment is for, are consented to.
However, flogging isn’t all about the pain though, it’s also about the pleasure. with the right type of flogger, and the right type of hit, pleasure can be found in flogging. I, personally, have brought submissives to orgasm through flogging.
When I was a Dominatrix, one of the first things I learned was flogging. I had no idea how to yield a flogger or really what to do. My thoughts on flogging had always been those of medieval torture movies. I hadn’t realized quite the depth in which so many medieval torture devices had made their way into BDSM, which has always made me wonder if the medieval ages were just a lot of kinky fun?
Related: How To Be A Dom: 30 Tips For Beginners
Flogging quickly became one of my favorite things to do, being quite versatile, flogging is a staple in the BDSM world. When enjoying a kinky scene, various fetishes can be grouped to increase pleasure.
I one time engaged in some wax play, covering the submissive in wax and then proceeded to flog it off of them. Flogging it off comes down to the type of flogger you have as well as how hard and what angle you hit the submissive. It was one of my most memorable scenarios, they were bound by their ankles and wrists, I’d made a corset in wax and flogged them clean, mostly.
So how does one flog?
Tips for flogging
The great thing about flogging is that with a little practice you can learn quickly and a lot, here are tips on what you want to do should you try it out.
Know where to hit
If you’ve ever seen Fifty Shades of Grey, then you say that cringe-worthy scene where the Dom chooses to flog her stomach… never start with the stomach…
You can hit with a flogger the back, butt, thighs, and calves area. You also need to avoid some areas, you want to avoid the head, neck, stomach, and face areas. Because the arms are so close to the neck and face, I typically choose to avoid those as well.
If you choose to flog the genitals, do it after you’ve practiced, and focus on soft hits. The best way to access the genitals I’ve found is from behind. I like to have the submissive spread their legs wide and lean forward slightly so their butt is out.
Then I gently flog so the tails wrap around the but with the tip of the tails hitting the genitals. You want to start with soft hits when exploring this area and since it is a more sensitive area, be sure to check in with your submissive.
The breast area can be hit, with caution, you want to avoid the neck and head area. The best way to do this is to give yourself more space and back up farther, so less of the flogger makes contact with the area. It’s better to wait until you’re more experienced before going for the breast area, a tail to the face can ruin a scene.
Give yourself space
Pick a place that has space, you will have your arms flinging backward and forward and it can be easy to hit somebody and even yourself without enough space.
It’s also harder to control the flogger if you don’t have enough space.
Have a safe word
Safewords are huge, you want to make sure that you have one where all contact will cease, the submissive will be released, and go straight into aftercare.
Whenever I’m flogging, I check in with the submissive at random times just to see how they’re doing. If they say yellow then I tend to go softer with my hits or stop flogging for a moment to give them a chance to breathe. It depends on the situation and the submissive.
Use the right flogger
Floggers have various handle weights and lengths and styles. While the most popular style is a long tube-like handle, there are other handles, such as a curved handle or a cat knuckle handle. If you’re starting, go with a handle that you can easily control, and that has the right weight.
This leads us into the flogger tails themselves. Floggers can have different types of leathers, different amounts of tails attached to the flogger, and different widths and lengths, all of these determine how intense the flogger is depending on how you use it. These are all things you want to take into consideration when picking a flogger. Having the right flogger will help you grow and make the experience that much better.
Know your stance
When you land your hit, you don’t want to do it on a shaky stance. I like to give myself control and power. Have your legs spread hip-width with your feet planted into the floor and a straight back allows you the ability to control your flogger as well as the strength you hit with.
Spacing between you and them
The flogger is an added addition to your arm, you want to make sure that you have enough space between you and the submissive. Don’t be afraid to move around and find a space that you feel is appropriate, it is also totally okay to adjust your space throughout if you want to hit harder or softer or different areas.
Use the entire arm, not your elbow
You want to engage your entire arm, you want the shoulder to move back. If you swing back from just the elbow you lack the control and strength. You get a lot more power by using your entire arm, all the way down to the wrists.
Related: Erotic Spanking For Beginners: How To Spank Your Partner
It’s all in the wrists
As your arm is coming down, you want to relax the wrist. Don’t stiffen your wrist, that won’t let the flogger hit across the skin. You want to let the wrist flick forward as your arm comes down. The best way to think of it is as if you’re holding a paintbrush and flicking paint with the brush onto a canvas, the flex and flexibility you would give your wrists are the same.
Use your other hand to hold the tails, if you want
When I’m going slower, I like to grab the tails with my other hand to gather them before I take my next hit. Especially when I’m evaluating the situation and going slow.
Mix up your hits
I don’t like for my submissive to know what’s about to come, I like to mix it up and hit soft and hard, I don’t want them to anticipate my next move. I sometimes like to do a series of harder hits and then scratch my nails down their back. I feel it builds the scene and allows for some fun creativity.
The light hit
Don’t underestimate the value of a soft hit with a flogger, you can use the flogger to tease and entice your submissive. You can make them long for the touch or pant with anticipation of what you’ll do next. A light hit is as impactful as a hard hit and should be something within your arsenal.
Mix and match your kinks
You don’t have to stand there and just flog the whole time, you can walk around the submissive, spank them, scratch them, and pull on nipple clamps if they have any. Don’t be afraid to mix it up, something as simple as blowing on their skin can increase the intensity of the session.
Related: 6 Different Ways To Tickle Your Partner
Set the mood
No matter what vibe you want to have, be it dark, sensual or whatever you desire, you want the mood set. Lower the lights, put on the music, and create a space for just you and whoever will be partaking. Help drag them into the mentality that you desire by creating the mood you want.
Be prepared
While a lot of improvisation may occur, be as prepared as you, you want to make sure that everything goes smoothly. And while we discuss being prepared, that also applies to being prepared for any emergencies, any aftercare, and any potential surprises. Having everything ready to go, helps keep the mood going and makes aftercare that much easier.
Check-in with them
Durning any time in the session, check in with your submissive, it’s okay to ask them ‘what’s your color?’. You won’t ruin the mood by asking them how they’re doing, and a lot of times this lets you know if you can go harder or softer.
I use the stoplight system, red means stop, yellow means they’re okay but on the edge, and green means they’re doing great. This is great for flogging because I can ask their color and know where they’re at without diving farther into things unless I want to.
It’s better to know where your submissive is at than to have them call red on you or at a green and not feel the scene. You can’t know something is left to be desired unless you want to ask the submissive, it’s a great way to gauge where things can go.
This also lets me know if my sub is close to or in sub-space. If I have a submissive in sub-space, I let them stay there but I won’t increase the intensity of hits because of them being in sub-space.
Aftercare
Flogging is a lot on the body, it can do a lot to both body and mind, so you must do aftercare with your submissive. Aftercare is tending to your submissive in a way that they need, as they come down from the scene.
It’s so important to make sure that the submissive wounds are tended to and cleaned if any have occurred. And that they are provided with the comfort they need as they unwind from the scene. Aftercare is great for both of you to just process and relish in the scene you just partook in.
Related: BDSM Aftercare: 10 Ways To Care For Your Sub
Clean your flogger
Most floggers are made out of leather, this can be cleaned and should be cleaned. Because leather is a porous material, you have to be careful about how you clean it. Baby shampoo is great, it’s gentle and doesn’t leave a residue. Dominant Desires has a great guide on cleaning leather toys.
Final words
Flogging can be an incredible experience, it’s something that is experienced by both the giver and receiver. While we all have our own way of doing things, these tips and tricks are meant to help you learn and/or become more skilled in your flogging ventures.
I have personally always seen flogging as interactive living art, with an array of opportunities. So as you venture into your flogging experience, take your time, check-in with your submissive and enjoy the adventure. Stay happy, stay kinky and uncensor your pleasure.
From our workshop
Every write-up , very little is said about after care , what you need to actually do it or perhaps even more problematic , on how to prepare the persons skin for flogging.
Or if you using an implement like a cross , how to restrain the person safely .