BDSM Collar Guide For A Happy Submissive

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Welcome to the complete BDSM collar guide.

Traditionally, collars are part of clothing that fastens or locks around the wearer’s neck.

Throughout history, collars were made from different materials and because of different fashion reasons.

In the case of BDSM communities, collars are (usually) worn for other reasons.

Here, you will find out lots of stuff – starting with what are they exactly, what are the stages of collaring in BDSM communities, what are common types and materials used for making them as well as where to buy them.

In addition to that – you’ll find our reviews of 3 beautiful collars that Stockroom sent us to do an honest review.

Collared

The usual BDSM relationship consists of the dominant partner and submissive partner (but it is not limited only to those roles).

Submissive is wearing BDSM collar to show their submissive or slave status in the relationship. We usually refer to them as collared.

Read D/s relationship: Beginners Guide and Infographic and Submissive Positions in 15 Unique (NSFW) Pictures.

Communities often conduct official ceremonies where BDSM collars are given to the submissive.

In ”normal” relationships we have weddings and wedding rings and here, in D/s relationships we have a ceremony and a BDSM collar.

Some submissives wear lockable collars to further emphasize the transfer of power to the dominant who is holding the key, while on the other hand, some don’t wear it all the time.

Collaring ceremony

See the following resource if you wish to learn more on the topic. Mind that link is 18+ and is an educational but explicit video. The link will take you to the Kink University website and while the small part of the videos is free, you’re going to have to subscribe for the whole thing.

Kink University is one of the few sites we wholeheartedly recommend for kink education.

• Collaring at Kink University

Standard BDSM collar

Even though there is no strict rule in the community regarding BDSM collars, surely there is a certain ”standard”.

Subs wear black leather collars, with the addition of metal rings.

Why ring? BDSM collars have metal rings attached to them mostly to allow attachment of a restraint.

However, sometimes subs wear something more appropriate and discreet in public.

In that case, they wear a simple choker or a necklace, but because of the same reasons.

3 stages of collaring

There are a few degrees of the significance of BDSM collars.

While this practice is now widely used in the BDSM world, a lot of communities find it important and follow these 3 stages of collaring.

Stages of collaring:

• Collar of consideration
• Training collar
• Slave collar

Collar of consideration

is first on the list, people usually compare it to pre-engagement rings. The term ”collar of consideration” comes from the Old Guard Leather Community.

It doesn’t have to be an actual collar, sometimes it is a bracelet, waist chain or an anklet. The traditional collar of consideration would be a leather collar in blue color – you can see one in the picture below.

This type of collar is offered by the dominant to show his interest in the submissive and the submissive, by accepting the collar of consideration, shows that is equally serious. By doing that, that submissive is no longer available for the period of consideration and any honorable Dom won’t pursue that submissive.

If it doesn’t work out, submissives can remove the collar of consideration any time they want and with that act, end the BDSM relationship.

Training collar

is the second stage of collaring.

There is some rough analogy to engagement rings or we could say that it represents an agreement between a dom and a submissive to teach and learn. In this stage, the dominant prepares his submissive to the standards he expects.

It is still possible to end the relationship, but the break is painful as their connection is stronger at this point.

Usually, the dom and the sub engage in long conversations to explore each other’s needs, desires, lifestyles to further see if they are a good match. Maybe they engage in some lighter, vanilla aspects of a D/s relationship to explore the beginning limits of a sub.

The traditional training collar is made of leather and usually in red or black color.

Slave collar

final stage – we can look at it as a wedding ring.

This collar is offered after the dom and sub have progressed through ”Collar of consideration” and ”Training collar”.

Now, the submissive is the official slave of the dominant. BDSM communities that practice these stages consider this stage of the relationship permanent, with no chance to end it.

In a rare case, the dominant can end the relationship.

Read 56 Ideas For BDSM Slave Training (NSFW). We also included a Master/ slave contract in that article.

About the collars

The most common materials are leather, rubber, PVC, and steel (stainless steel) while leather is definitely a ”king”.

It is also common to use collars as a fashion accessory and in that case, common materials are cotton, nylon, neoprene.

BDSM collars can have decorations such as spikes, studs, or nails and often feature buckles, straps and hooks, padlocks, and other attachments.

There are various types of collars :

• Wolf collar
• Posture collar
• Halter collar
• Turian collar
• Day collar

In addition to these collars, many people use simple dog collars with a buckle.

What is a Wolf collar?

It is a collar that has spikes, studs, and nails on it. It is usually used for dogs to protect them from wolves – that’s where it got the name. Wolf collar looks are considered to be decorative in the BDSM world.

Some variations of Wolf collar have plastic nails and spikes, just for the sake of protection, as real spikes, studs, and nails can be dangerous.

What is a Posture collar?

A posture collar is a corset type of device, made for the neck, instead of the waist. It does not compress the neck as a normal corset compresses the waist. As the name suggests, the posture collar helps maintain the posture by keeping the chin up high and the neck extended.

What is a Halter collar?

Halter collar, or also called a drop collar, is a collar that drops low at the front side. It is very similar to a Turian collar because the neck is free to move, so it may be more comfortable to wear over long periods of time.

Halter collars are usually made in a way that you can easily hang some other piece of jewelry on the lowest part of the drop.

What is a Turian collar?

Turian collar, in simple terms, is a metal collar. John Norman invented it in his book series ”Gor”. Turia is a city in his books, whereas ”turian” is an adjective. Turian collars are either made with internal screw locking mechanisms or with tags to allow the use of a padlock.

What is a Day collar?

Day collars are BDSM collars, usually made in a simple, elegant way so they can easily be worn in public.

Discreet day collars can be your little kinky secret, a sign of devotion to your dominant without anyone knowing.

All of the materials listed above are used for making BDSM day collars, but the most used one is probably stainless steel.

Some of the sites we mentioned sell day collars, so check them out. Etsy is usually our go-to site when looking for something like that. I don’t know why, but it seems to me that you can find more unique pieces there.

Example of a discreet BDSM day collar we love.

Sold at Amazon for 9.99$.

Is there any other use for BDSM collars?

People who practice BDSM don’t use collars only for showing their status.

Collars are common in BDSM plays/ role-playing sessions, such as age play (Daddy Dom/ little girl) or animal role-play scenarios (pet play).

BDSM collars have connotations of control and when we use them with a leash, they have animalistic status. The dominant partner has physical control of the sub.

In addition to it, collars are also often used in female domination plays.

Buying a BDSM collar

BDSM collar is a common accessory in the BDSM world.

Kinksters around the world wear it for two reasons: either as a fashion accessory or as the symbol in their D/s relationship.

Like buying any other thing, buying a BDSM collar requires at least some research.

We live in the age of e-commerce and buying options are diverse. Do yourself a favor and save some time by reading the next few chapters.

What to consider when buying a BDSM collar?

There are many things you should consider when buying a collar.

The first thing that could determine what type of collar you’ll buy is either a type of collar or the occasion. Will, you (or your submissive) wear it casually/ as a fashion accessory or there is a more serious meaning for it?

Check out this cute infographic we found on this Tumblr page, summarizing the first part of our BDSM collar guide.

Things to know when buying a BDSM collar:

• Occasion (casual/ stages of collaring)
• Type of BDSM collar
• Material
• Quality

Read any available feedback on the BDSM collar you are going to buy. You are aiming for the one that is made of a material that has good quality and the one that is well made.

Remember that low price often means low quality.

Where to buy BDSM collars?

Read this – the following list used to be bigger (for exactly 8 links/ 6 web-shops), however after a detailed review and analysis we decided to remove them from the list.

Why?

For some, there were a few reasons and for some just one, but in the end, it all came to the same thing – they were not worthy of your time and money.

The links that are now on the list offer the best quality for your money. From now on, that will be deciding factor whether the link will appear on the list.

This page gets a lot of monthly visits and it is our responsibility to provide the best advice we can. Happy shopping!

Leather BDSM collars

• Stockroom – use code SPICES10 to get 10% off your whole order (excludes furniture and sex machines)

Best BDSM collars

These are the BDSM collars from Stockroom that we recommend:

The first one is Leather Collar with Red Scalloped Edges.

It is a buckling, leather collar, mainly black in color with, as the name states, adorable and soft red scalloped edges. Those edges really lighten the look of the black leather. For me, it really makes the difference in the final look of the collar.

Simple, yet very elegant, goes extremely well with my hair color. 🙂

Another great feature of this collar is a one inch wide ring located in the front.

My husband attached the leash several times, led me around the room, pulled me back and forth and the collar stayed intact. Production is indeed superb.

Also, the collar is 2¼” wide – which feels nice and tight around my neck but also means good dispersion of the force. The whole design is very sturdy – made exactly for every kind of play.

This collar has matching cuffs; however, we did not review those. The leash on the picture is one we had at home, although I’m convinced that red leather would be a match made in heaven.

There is only one thing you should be careful about. When transporting this collar, for example, to take with you on a vacation, make sure not to twist scallop edges as they are thin and could get ruined.

The price is 38$ + shipping and you can get it in Stockroom store. Use code SPICES10 to get 10% off your whole order (excludes furniture and sex machines).

 

Stupid Cute Heart Lock Choker is also one of our favorites.

This collar is part of the Stupid Cute series, meaning there is a whole restraint set to pair with. It comes in a really cute light pink color, exactly like in the pictures.

It is handmade of high-quality leather and nickel-plated hardware. What is amazing about it is that the collar feels very light, no matter the hardware.

The shiny heart-shaped padlock is just the right size – 1 1/2″ tall x 1 1/2″ wide. Also, the lock worked smoothly every time we used it.

This collar is not as tight around my neck and it feels more like a necklace. We prefer to use this as a show off and some light playtime.

Price is 25$ + shipping and you can get it in Stockroom store. Use code SPICES10 to get 10% off your whole order (excludes furniture and sex machines).

 

The third collar we had a chance to review is STK Lux Dom collar.

This collar has a unique, distinctive look – from afar one might think you are wearing three different chokers, connected in the middle.

It is firm, made out of good quality leather but feels soft on my skin.

It is completely black and it goes well with any color combination you might be wearing. Design is very simple and minimalistic, however with just enough details to project strength and power.

Even though I prefer to be Submissive, our relationship isn’t strictly labeled. Sometimes I like to put myself in a Dominant position.

This is the collar that I would choose every time as a Dom. It wraps itself nicely around my neck and I feel powerful and sexy wearing it.

Price is 72$ + shipping and you can get it in Stockroom store. Use code SPICES10 to get 10% off your whole order (excludes furniture and sex machines).

 

Other collars we recommend:

Bondage Boutique Faux Leather Collar and Leash

To get a 10% discount in the Lovehoney shop, use code HONEYX10 at checkout.

DOMINIX Deluxe Leather Collar

To get a 10% discount in the Lovehoney shop, use code HONEYX10 at checkout.

DIY BDSM collars

Some people choose this option. You can get stellar results if you have tools available and are skilled enough. Also, you can modify and/or decorate them to your need and wishes. Follow the link to find out how to make a BDSM collar and where to buy leather for BDSM collars.

BDSM jewelry with meaning

If somebody asked me what BDSM collars are – they are BDSM jewelry with meaning. Whether you only think of it as a naughty secret between you and your partner or you are in a D/s relationship, buying the right BDSM collar for you is important. You can find many more online stores that sell all kinds of BDSM collars, aside from those we mentioned. In other words, Google is your best friend.

BDSM collar gallery

We have a new-ish feature on our blog – photo gallery.  You’re going to find our own original content as well as all the stock photos used on the website.

Other articles that we wrote about BDSM collars

We wrote a few articles about BDSM collars that were published on other (awesome) blogs. Here it is:

• Why Collars Are Important to BDSM @ Love Letters To a Unicorn
• Steps To Safety In BDSM @ Kara_Sutra Reviews
• How to Choose the Right BDSM Collar @ Submissive Guide
• What does my collar mean to me? @ Girl on the Net
• Collared and committed @ Couple of Secrets

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