BDSM Collar: The Amazing Go-To Guide

BDSM Collar: The Amazing Go-To Guide

Complete BDSM collar guide.

Traditionally, collars are part of clothing that fastens or locks around the wearer’s neck. Throughout history, collars were made from different materials and because of different fashion reasons. In the case of BDSM communities, collars are (usually) worn for other reasons.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

COLLARED

Usual BDSM relationship consists of the dominant partner and submissive partner (but it is not limited only to those roles).  Submissive is wearing BDSM collar to show their submissive or slave status in the relationship. We usually refer to them as collared.

Communities often conduct official ceremonies where BDSM collars are given to the sub. In ”normal” relationships we have weddings and wedding rings and here, we have a ceremony and a BDSM collar. Some submissives wear lockable collars to further emphasize the transfer of power to the dominant who is holding the key, while on the other hand, some don’t wear it all the time.

STANDARD BDSM COLLAR

Even though there is no strict rule in the community regarding BDSM collars, surely there is a certain ”standard”.  Subs wear black leather collars, with the addition of metal ring. Why ring? BDSM collars have metal rings attached to them mostly to allow attachment of a restraint. However, sometimes subs wear something more appropriate and discreet in public. In that case, they wear a simple choker or a necklace, but because of the same reasons.

3 STAGES OF COLLARING

There are a few degrees of the significance of BDSM collars. While this practice is now widely used in BDSM world,  a lot of communities find it important and follow these 3 stages of collaring.

Stages of collaring:

  • Collar of consideration
  • Training collar
  • Slave collar

Collar of consideration

is first on the list, people usually compare it to pre-engagement rings. The term ”collar of consideration” comes from Old Guard Leather Community.

It doesn’t have to be an actual collar, sometimes it is a bracelet, waist chain or an anklet. The traditional collar of consideration would be a leather collar in blue color – you can see one in the picture below.

This type of collar is offered by the dominant to show his interest in the submissive and the submissive, by accepting the collar of consideration, shows that is equally serious. By doing that, that submissive is no longer available for the period of consideration and any honorable Dom won’t pursue that submissive.

If it doesn’t work out, submissives can remove the collar of consideration any time they want and with that act, end the BDSM relationship.

Traditional collar of consideration in blue color
Etsy.com

Training collar

is the second stage of collaring. There is some rough analogy to engagement rings or we could say that it represents an agreement between a dom and a submissive to teach and learn. In this stage, dominant prepares his submissive to the standards he expects. It is still possible to end the relationship, but the break is painful as their connection is stronger at this point.

Usually, the dom and the sub engage in long conversations to explore each other’s needs, desires, lifestyles to further see if they are a good match. Maybe they engage in some lighter, vanilla aspects of a D/s relationship to explore beginning limits of a sub.

The traditional training collar is made of leather and usually in red or black color.

Training collar in Ds relationship
Etsy.com

Slave collar

final stage – we can look at it as a wedding ring. This collar is offered after the dom and sub have progressed through ”Collar of consideration” and ”Training collar”. Now, submissive is the official slave of the dominant. BDSM communities that practice these stages consider this stage of the relationship permanent, with no chance to end it. In a rare case, the dominant can end the relationship.

Discreet slave collar
Etsy.com

ABOUT THE COLLARS

Most common materials are leather, rubber, PVC, and steel (stainless steel) while leather is definitely a ”king”. It is also common to use collars as a fashion accessory and in that case, common materials are cotton, nylon, neoprene.

BDSM collars can have decorations such as spikes, studs or nails and often feature buckles, straps and hooks, padlocks and other attachments.

There are various types of collars :

  • Wolf collar
  • Posture collar
  • Halter collar
  • Turian collar
  • Day collar

In addition to these collars, many people use simple dog collars with a buckle.

What is a Wolf collar?

It is a collar that has spikes, studs, and nails on it. It is usually used for dogs to protect them from wolves – that’s where it got the name. Wolf collar looks are considered to be decorative in BDSM world.

Some variations of Wolf collar have plastic nails and spikes, just for the sake of protection, as real spikes, studs, and nails can be dangerous.

Girl wearing a wolf collar
Wikipedia.com

What is a Posture collar?

Posture collar is a corset type of device, made for neck, instead of the waist. It does not compress the neck as normal corset compresses the waist. As the name suggests, posture collar helps maintain the posture by keeping the chin up high and the neck extended.

Girl wearing posture collar made from black leather
Etsy.com

What is a Halter collar?

Halter collar, or also called a drop collar, is a collar that drops low at the front side. It is very similar to a Turian collar because the neck is free to move, so it may be more comfortable to wear over long periods of time.

Halter collars are usually made in a way that you can easily hang some other piece of jewelry on the lowest part of the drop.

Halter collar with a leash
Wikipedia.com

What is a Turian collar?

Turian collar, in simple terms, is a metal collar. John Norman invented it in his book series ”Gor”. Turia is a city in his books, whereas ”turian” is an adjective. Turian collars are either made with internal screw locking mechanisms or with tags to allow the use of a padlock.

Girl wearing Turian collar
Pinterest.com

What is a Day collar?

Day collars are BDSM collars, usually made in a simple, elegant way so they can easily be worn in public. Discreet day collars can be your little kinky secret, a sign of devotion to your dominant without anyone knowing. All of the materials listed above are used for making BDSM day collars, but the most used one is probably stainless steel.

Some of the sites we mentioned sell day collars, so check them out. Etsy is usually our go-to site when looking for something like that. I don’t know why, but it seems to me that you can find more unique pieces there.

Example BDSM day collar we love, sold at Restrained Grace.

Discreet BDSM Day Collar
RestrainedGrace.com

IS THERE ANY OTHER USE FOR BDSM COLLARS?

People who practice BDSM don’t use collars only for showing their status. Collars are parts of few BDSM plays/ role-playing sessions, such as collar and lead play, erotic humiliation or animal role-play scenarios. BDSM collars have connotations of control and when we use them with a leash, they have animalistic status. Dominant partner has physical control of the sub.

Girl with a BDSM collar on a leash engaged in a pet play

BUYING A BDSM COLLAR

BDSM collar is a common accessory in BDSM world. Kinksters around the world wear it for two reasons: either as a fashion accessory or as the symbol in their D/s relationship. Like buying any other thing, buying a BDSM collar requires at least some research. We live in the age of e-commerce and buying options are diverse. Do yourself a favor and save some time by reading the next few chapters.

WHAT TO CONSIDER WHEN BUYING A BDSM COLLAR?

There are many things you should consider when buying a collar. The first thing that could determine what type of collar you’ll buy is either a type of collar or the occasion. Will, you (or your submissive) wear it casually/ as a fashion accessory or there is a more serious meaning for it?

Check out this cute infographic we found on this Tumblr page, summarizing the first part of our BDSM collar guide.

Infographic about types of BDSM collars

Things to know when buying a BDSM collar:

  • Occasion (casual/ stages of collaring)
  • Type of BDSM collar
  • Material
  • Quality

Read any available feedback on the BDSM collar you are going to buy. You are aiming for the one that is made of a material that has good quality and the one that is well made. Remember that low price often means low quality.

Black and white photo of a woman wearing BDSM collar

WHERE TO BUY BDSM COLLARS?

We categorized links by the material used. Note, some of the links are NSFW.

LEATHER BDSM COLLARS

CHAIN BDSM COLLARS

STAINLESS STEEL BDSM COLLARS

DIY BDSM COLLARS

Some people choose this option. You can get stellar results if you have tools available and are skilled enough. Also, you can modify and/or decorate them to your need and wishes. Follow the link to find out how to make a BDSM collar and where to buy leather for BDSM collars.

Woman with a red spiked BDSM collar on a leash

 

BDSM JEWELRY WITH MEANING

If somebody asked me what BDSM collars are – they are BDSM jewelry with meaning. Whether you only think of it as a naughty secret between you and your partner our you are in a D/s relationship, buying the right BDSM collar for you is important. You can find many more online stores that sell all kinds of BDSM collars, aside from those we mentioned. In other words, Google is your best friend.

BDSM collar gallery

The gallery is being frequently updated as we acquire more photos.

SHARE IT WITH OTHER KINKSTERS

I hope all (or most) of your BDSM collar question are answered. If you have more questions, if you need advice, I encourage you to leave a comment below. We will do our best to help you out. Use the buttons below the article to share it with your fellow Kinksters! In addition to sharing, if you are a social media person – check our Facebook/ Twitter/ Instagram or subscribe to our mailing list.

What about you, do you wear BDSM collars? Have you seen anyone wearing it?

 

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