Rewards and discipline are an important aspect of many D/s relationships, and (when done right) BDSM punishments are a great way to train your submissive to behave in the way you see fit.
When considering introducing new punishments to your relationship, prior discussion of limits is of great importance.
Know what your sub is prepared to take and what their hard limits are before practising any kind of discipline.
Equally, make sure to never punish your sub when you’re angry.
Punishment comes with a great level of responsibility and you should always keep a level head, ensuring the punishment ‘fits the crime’ correctly.
Make sure your sub is aware of what they did wrong and give them the opportunity to avoid making the same mistake twice. After all, the aim of punishment is to help your sub learn what behaviour is acceptable and what is not.
As with many elements of BDSM, providing aftercare following a punishment is essential. As a Dom, you are responsible for your sub’s wellbeing, and punishments can take a toll on them both physically and mentally.
What constitutes effective aftercare varies vastly between subs, so it’s important to discuss this, too. Many subs find cuddling, energy drinks or soft blankets and clothing helpful.
Broad categories of BDSM punishment
Restrictive/Denial
Restrictive punishments involve taking something away from your sub. This could involve forbidding them from watching their favorite TV show or making eye contact with you, for example. Orgasm control or denial could also fit into this category.
Productive
These punishments should be productive for you, but unpleasant for your submissive. Cleaning the house whilst listening to a radio station they hate is a good example of a productive punishment.
Pain/Discomfort
This one kind of speaks for itself, and involves things like spanking, flogging and caning.
Humiliation
Humiliating punishments should be degrading, and may include things like having your sub act as a piece of furniture or letting you write insults on their body.
Boring
These types of punishments are tedious. Think pointless chores like refolding clothes, counting or even sitting in silence for a long period of time. Another great ‘boring’ punishment is writing lines.
Funishments
These types of punishments are more playful, and tend to be reserved for when a sub deliberately provokes their Dom, or when the Dom is just ‘in the mood’ to punish their sub.
BDSM punishments list
Now you’re all clued up on the basics of BDSM punishment, here are 40 BDSM punishment ideas for you to try out!
1. Edging or orgasm denial.
2. Make them wear a chastity device for a set length of time.
3. Revoke their TV or phone privileges.
4. Get them to do household chores whilst wearing kegel balls or a butt plug.
5. …or get them to do chores whilst naked.
6. Send them out to run errands without underwear on, or wearing a pantie vibrator.
7. Have them take a cold shower.
8. Restrain and tickle them.
9. Have them shave their body hair in a way they don’t like.
10. Make them eat from the floor.
11. Give them a golden shower.
12. Do not allow them to sleep in the same room as you.
13. Have them stand in a slave position in a corner for a set length of time.
14. Deny them access to their favorite foods or make them eat bland meals.
15. Walk them like a dog.
16. Spank them whilst making them count along.
17. Use them as human furniture (a foot stool or table, for example).
18. Make them wear your cum for as long as you specify.
19. Forbid them from touching themselves until you grant permission.
20. Keep them isolated for the day.
21. Make them ask permission for everything.
22. Make them kneel on uncooked rice for a length of time specified by you.
23. Over-the-knee spanking (unless this is something they enjoy, of course).
24. Revoke their permission to speak.
25. Have them write an essay on a mundane topic of your choice.
26. Get them to write 100 or more lines (e.g. I will not talk back to my Master).
27. Have them eat from a pet’s dish for the day.
28. Make them wear a collar in public (or, if they enjoy wearing a collar, take it away).
29. Have them go outside in clothes they are embarrassed to wear.
30. Make them your personal maid for the day.
31. Foot worship.
32. Make them crawl for a day.
33. Force them to do exercise they hate.
34. Spit in their face.
35. Have them wear old or ripped clothes in public.
36. Forced orgasm using a toy.
37. Make them leave the door open when they use the bathroom.
38. Write insulting or degrading words or phrases on their body (“whore”, “slut” etc.).
38. Have them hold an object against the wall using their nose for a set length of time.
40. Make them wear a gag (ensure you have a safe word gesture if they can’t speak).
How playfully incorporate submissive positions into your playtime
Like us, like many, you might be struggling with how to incorporate these positions into your regular playtime.
If you’re interested in how to make that happen, we would like to point you to one of the subscriber-only articles in our newsletter, Filthy Beautiful Sex.
Click here to read the article.
Tracking BDSM punishments via an app
Couples that want to keep track progress of punishments, rewards, or habits can check out the Obedience app for phones.
Obedience app, which we reviewed here, is a tracker app specially created for BDSM couples. Partners will be able to track the progress of daily and weekly tasks inside the app. The Dominant partner will be in charge of punishments and rewards.
It’s a neat option for couples who are in such a dynamic or live far apart.
From our workshop
Oh great thanks