Foreplay: Why Is It Important & Hot Ideas To Try

The prefix “fore” means at the front, before, so foreplay literally means before play—sexual play, that is.

Foreplay can also indicate superiority, and sometimes foreplay can be just that, compared to intercourse.

As most who enjoy porn—a great foreplay activity, by the way—will attest, a significant percentage of sexual gratification happens in the mind, more so for vagina owners than penis owners.

However, sufficient foreplay, whether in time or intensity, is especially important for vagina owners because, according to good ol’ Dr. Ruth, it takes “a longer time to get up to the level of arousal needed to orgasm.”

Penis owners also need and desire foreplay, though.

Like sex, pretty much anything can be foreplay depending on those involved, and anything does go if all involved are rational, consenting adults.

As always, communication with all parties is key, including knowing and honoring your play partners’ limits and safe words.

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Hot ideas to try when it comes time for kinky foreplay

“You mean the panties your mother laid out for you?” -Seinfeld

Anything can be foreplay, and nothing can be foreplay, but foreplay is important either way.

Since arousal occurs mentally—again, think how porn or erotica arouses in a purely psychological way—dirty talk can be extremely effective.

This form of foreplay can start hours, days, and in today’s online world, even months before sex.

Telling someone via text, phone, or before they leave for work what you’re going to do to them, or merely sharing fantasies, can make almost anyone hot under their collar… and their cuffs!

Not touching can be insanely passionate.

Many submissives enjoy receiving instructions: stand with your legs spread and arms behind your back, all fours on the bed and don’t move, on your knees and open your mouth… you get the dirty picture.

The suspense alone of what the Dominant is doing behind them or waiting to do can build arousal in ways that bondage can’t.

It’s one thing to allow yourself to be bound so you’re at another’s mercy, but willingly giving someone that level of obedience throughout the play, especially vigorous or extended play, can be downright dizzying for both sub and Dom.

An unrestrained mind, however, makes restrained bodies fabulously fun as well. Blindfolds can intensify sensations in virtually all sexual acts.

Blindfolds and bondage go together like rama lama lama ka dinga da dinga dong.

Whether you’re into bondage, regularly or not, throw in a blindfold and ball gag occasionally and watch your rope bunny’s excitement, and genitals, swell.

Grasp this opportunity to use clamps, impact implements, and other toys to spank, probe, and vibrate, briefly—you don’t want your play partner to orgasm too soon.

If you seek items with which to spank and probe and vibrate, have a sit-down together with a relaxing glass of vino and shop for adult toys online.

The anticipation of waiting days for a fancy flogger to arrive, combined with talking about what will happen when it does, can be sweet agony all around.

If one of your toys is a remote-controlled bullet or butterfly, foreplay can last for hours while you’re out on the town.

Go for dinner, movie, and drinks, vibrating your partner’s naughty bits intermittently all evening.

A discreet quick spanking or oral sex or penetration which doesn’t lead to orgasm, in a single-stall bathroom can leave even the strongest legs quivering.

Tying it all together

Why is foreplay so important? Foreplay is healthy and beneficial for everyone but naturally can be necessary for the vagina owners so that penetration is pleasurable, not painful.

When a vagina owner is sexually aroused, a response called vaginal tenting, or ballooning, occurs when the uterus and cervix move farther into the pelvis.

For penis owners, foreplay can foster emotional intimacy, which is great for long-term relationships. And when it comes to kinky foreplay, creating exquisitely intense and/or extreme anticipation invariably enhances their primal dominant tendencies, assuming that’s their’s role in your relationship, of course.

Foreplay doesn’t always lead to intercourse. What happens during and after foreplay depends on the kinksters playing.

That’s the way it should be. Wah-oooh, yeah!

Carrie and David are lifetime partners with a combined 20+ years’ experience in the world of kink. Residents of Maryland’s Eastern Shore, D&C are professional freelance writer/editors for several, mostly vanilla, publications and organizations.