How To Have A Threesome: Navigating The Hot Mess Of Group Sex

Couples and singles are lucky to live in a world that’s a lot more sexually open than previous decades, and with polyamory on the rise, there’s often space for one more!

Unfortunately for the adventurous single, couple’s kind of have the upper hand on you already in this numbers game.

Like polyamory, threesomes can kind of have a lot of emotional admin. It’s important to make sure you think about what you’re getting yourself in for. This doesn’t mean reigning in your imagination!

It’s about deciding what’s best for you.

Some girls might want a Sense8 style night with a couple of bi friends just for the experience.

But sometimes it can be trickier. If you have genuine feelings for your friend, it’s probably not a good idea to use a threesome as a way to be with them (and their partner).

Make sure that you understand your motivations so that you and other others come out with hot memories, rather than any post-coital emotional baggage.

So, you know what you want.

Where do you find it?

For couples looking to add a playmate to the team, the best bet is the most obvious one, Tinder.

There are threesomes (or moresomes) specific apps, like 3Somer (Android/ Apple) and Feeld – “the dating app for open-minded couples and singles”, but honestly, they don’t have as many active users.

Tinder is littered with couples looking for a +1, although usually, it’s another woman, sorry lads.

Tinder and texting allow you to be upfront about what you want and even lay out some ground rules before you get started to avoid any awkwardness.

How to have a threesome?

When it comes to the first time, there’s no need to rush straight into it.

Treat it like a normal date and get to know each other. Not only does it make everyone feel safer about the situation, but it’ll build more tension for later.

Chill out and have a glass of wine or a beer. Some people will be happy to just meet one half of the couple, others might want to just come straight to your place.

Of course, the real dream is for all this to happen as a wild, summer nights, spur of the moment thing.

Again, couples can live this fantasy, going out and seducing together in hotel bars or night clubs.

A single man might have some difficulty, and will probably want to stick to Tinder.

Single girls, well, be careful out there in the real world, and if you’re going straight to someone’s house, have a video chat first just to stay safe.

But what about when you’re getting down to it?

How do you decide what goes where, who does what? How no one feels left out?

The simplest thing to say is that a threesome is like a dance, you sense your partner’s movements and adjust to what’s happening around you.

For two men and a woman, the guys will want to make sure what they do is consensual and enjoyable for the woman, not everyone will want a dick shoved in her mouth mid-doggy style, but others will go wild for it.

If in doubt, don’t just test it out, ask or move slowly to see how it goes.

Again, this stuff can be covered first when you’re planning ahead.

Make it fun, sexting is a safe way to judge what others want. If the couple says, for example, “Mmmm, I love the idea of blowing my guy while you lick my ass” and the reply is “Oh yeah that sounds hot!”, or “I’m going to make you moan with that cock in your mouth” you know you’re good.

Check their reaction and see what they’re hinting at. It’s a safe space to test the water and get the imagination going.

One more thing that we, unfortunately, have to plan for is the least fun, STD’s.

Sharing isn’t always caring, and there’s gonna be a lot of things going in and out of different places. So make sure to talk about that in advance, even if you and your partner use the pill or whatever, another person brings their own history to the bedroom.

With great sexual liberation, comes greater responsibility.