Interested in making your bedroom adventures more fun? Our personal list of kinky sex ideas is packed with cool, easy-to-try ideas that’ll keep things exciting and super enjoyable for both partners.
How did we go about writing this list of kinky sex ideas?
We have tried a bunch of different sex acts throughout years of sexploring and enjoying an adventurous sex life. From the simple kinky sex ideas that require no sex toys to the more elaborate ideas that require kinky toys.
The kinky sex ideas we enjoyed doing we jotted down in our little black book of sex ideas, and now, we’re thrilled to share them with you. This collection is a mix of our personal favorites and suggestions that have spiced up our experiences.
Both Luka and I wrote the list, which you’ll notice by the ideas mentioned.
Kinky sex ideas for long-term relationships
It’s not unusual for the excitement in long relationships to fade, but that’s completely normal.
Almost all the couples we know (including us) have gone through various ups and downs in their sex life. It’s not the lows that matter, but how you handle them. We’ve been there too.
If you’re here because your sex life needs a little boost, check out How to keep your sex life hot after years of being together, an article featured in our newsletter, Filthy, Beautiful Sex. It’s full of great tips and ideas to reignite that spark!
You’re ready to start exploring kinky sex ideas but your partner…
Sexual incompatibility and/or the challenge of communicating your interest in kinkier sex can often be a significant hurdle in a relationship.
These issues, if left unaddressed, can simmer inside of us, eventually impacting the health and happiness of a relationship.
If you’re looking for tips on how to communicate your kinky desires, click here to read an article on the topic, and/or if you’re looking for tips on how to manage sexual incompatibility, click here to read the other article we wrote on the subject.
Kinky sex ideas to try
Kinky massage session
Have a massage session. Grab old sheets, instruct them on a dining table or bed, oil them well, and give your partner a (sexual) massage.
Remember, it’s okay if you’re not a real masseuse, just pretend massage, take your time, and make sure you tease with your movements.
You can use olive or avocado oil (yes, you can) or buy something more alluring such as Olivia’s Boudoir Massage Oil.
May I lend a hand?
Watch your partner as she or he masturbates and join later.
The long tease
Slowly kiss the inside of your partner’s thighs, belly, and hips. Everything, just not the spot. Do it for as long as you can before engaging in oral sex.
Luka wrote a 16-step How To Go Down On A Girl guide – and let me tell you, he knows what he is doing.
Blindfold + riding crop
Blindfold your partner and tell them what to do. Nothing says I love you more than a heart-shaped riding crop you can use to guide them around.
If you don’t own a blindfold yet…what are you waiting for? Sportsheets Saffron blindfold is the only blindfold worth buying (because it has pads around the eyes that make it super comfortable and unlike every other blindfold, you actually can’t see anything).
Clitoris mixer
For a simpler, non-expensive version of this kinky sex idea, use your thumb on your partner’s clitoris during the penetration. Keep alternating between simply applying pressure to it, circling around it, and waving from the left to right. And just when they think you’ve depleted all your creativity, start gently tapping the clitoris.
And for the upgraded version of this idea, do the same just with the bullet vibrator like We-Vibe Tango X or with the Magic Wand. I specifically mentioned these two because of how deep and rumbly their vibrations are.
Read the We-Vibe Tango X review.
Lipstick blowjob
Wear bright red lipstick and suck your partner’s cock, making sure you leave lipstick marks on the shaft and around.
O-ring dominance
Fuck your partner’s helpless mouth through an O-ring gag.
Restrain and tease
Blindfold your partner and restrain them to bed using this system. Use ice cubes and warmed-up spoons on your partner’s body.
Read our under-the-bed restraint system review and don’t forget to test warm and cold sensations on your skin first.
Tickle, tickle
Create an array of pleasant and unpleasant sensations on your partner’s body using a simple Ostrich Feather Tickler. Further the session with a flogger and wax play while depriving your partner of their senses.
Learn 6 different ways to tickle your partner.
The above-mentioned Foreplay Machine game. The player with the most points at the end of the game wins the Reward which can be anything from oral to doing chores for a week.
Heels as lingerie
Wear nothing but high heels in bed.
Adventurous folks can try the heel-grabbing deepthroat position.
The heel-grabbing deepthroat position.
Lock them up
Buy a chastity device and either lock your partner’s penis or your partner’s vagina.
Read how we played with it and get inspired with our list of chastity cage play ideas.
Anticipation
Tie your partner to a chair and use a flogger. Do it with a blindfold to build anticipation, or without the blindfold to further the dominance.
Learn how to tease your tied-up partner.
Foot job
Give your partner a foot job as a part of the foreplay. Foot jobs are one of those acts where it is not important how good you are but the act itself. Simply lube up and have your partner guide your feet up and down their shaft.
Fingerbanging
Fingerbang your partner. Make it extra kinky by using their mouth to make your fingers wet.
Face riding
Sit on your partner’s face and ride it like there is no tomorrow.
But make sure they can breathe.
Ride it like you own it.
Mutual fun
Try mutual masturbation during foreplay.
Explore The eBook of Kinky Sex Ideas
Take your partner on a ride through all the ideas in The eBook of kinky sex ideas.
Risque date night
Go out on a date with your partner wearing a remote-controlled toy. You control the remote, of course, OR go to a club and set the Lovense toy to reach to music. Ohhhh yeaa!
Want to make it cute? Try Paula.
Vibrator tease
Tie your partner to a chair and tease them with a rabbit vibrator or with the eggplant. Tease their nipples, fun parts, and everything in between.
Feast
+Cover yourself or your partner with honey, whipped cream, or for the extra oomph, edible Cherry massage oil.
+++Cover your partner in (reasonable amounts) of honey, from the chest to the fun parts, and lick it all as an intro to oral sex. This is called the Honeylingus method.
+++. Blindfold your partner, strip them down, and just before you down on them, take a sip of hot tea. Alternate with sips of cold water. Enjoy the surprise.
We talked about the last two ideas on our podcast.
Porn night
Watch porn together and repeat a scene that makes you hot.
Squirting
Try and make your partner squirt.
Nipple stimulation
Have your partner’s nipples constantly stimulated with adjustable nipple clamps.
After you remove the clamps, give them a slow, sensual lick and gently blow on them.
Erotic roleplay
Try enacting one of many erotic roleplay scenarios. Grab the necessary props and jump into the role. Don’t worry about being silly. We all are when we roleplay.
Oral, the dominant way
Request oral sex from your partner. Be assertive and dominant.
But don’t be an asshole.
Explore bondage tape
Explore bondage tape together. Start by doing pretty, lingerie ties and continue to fucking.
Hair-pulling
Pull her hair during sex and whisper dirty things in her ear.
Another task from the Foreplay Machine game: Kinky Expansion.
Teaser
Bend over a chair and tease your lover. Don’t let them touch you for a certain amount of time.
Imitate a threesome
Imitate a threesome with a suction cup dildo or for an upgraded (and a bit more expensive) experience, imitate it using a suctionable fucking machine.
Orgasm control
Control their orgasm. Blindfold your partner (and cuff them?), caress their thighs, blow air on their fun parts and when they are near orgasm – stop. Tell them they will get to come tomorrow – if they behave.
Titty fuck
Lube up generously and fuck your partner’s tits. Use the penis to stimulate your partner’s nipples (tap, circle, wave left to right, etc).
Butt plugs and anal
Have your partner wear a butt plug for some time before engaging in anal. Make it a romantic occasion by gifting them something as wonderful as this butt plug.
Read I wore my butt plug to work and find out what lubes are best for anal.
Driving oral
Give your partner a blowjob while they’re driving.
Please exercise caution and common sense if doing so.
Spanking
+Increase your partner’s blood flow to ass cheeks and genitals with the SLUT spanking paddle.
++. GET. THE. ULTRA. SEXY. SPANKING SKIRT.
Get a latex spray because the skirt comes in a matte finish.
That ass looks even better in person.
Striptease
Start a session with a sensual (and confident) striptease. What makes me feel confident is a great piece of lingerie.
How to increase confidence in the bedroom.
Worship
Make your partner worship your feet. Or any other part of your body. Guide them through their actions.
Wax + ice
Drip wax on your lover’s body. Combine with ice cubes for a mind-blowing sensation.
Dessert time
Lick chocolate sauce from each other.
Messy sex is awesome and we talked about it on the podcast, however, to make your life not a complete disaster later, because cleaning can be wild, think about sex sheets.
Mirror, mirror…
Have sex in front of a mirror. Handjobs, fingering, oral,… all the acts are wildly hot in front of the mirrors. Try it.
Collar and leash
Put a collar on your partner and lead him/ her on a leash.
Cock ring
What we find kinky about wearing a cock ring is fucking your partner with a rock-hard cock, possibly in a position illustrated below. There is a hint of dominance flavor and a whole lot of sexiness.
Read my list of the best cock rings to find out which ones are worth buying.
Sex slave
Become your partner’s sex slave for a certain period of time.
Anal beads
Butt plugs are hot, but anal beads are totally different level of hot. For less than $20, don’t hesitate to try them out.
Breath touch
Touch your partner from head to toe, only with your breath.
Double trouble
Finger your partner while pleasuring them orally.
Hogtie
Restrain your partner with hogtie set and try face fucking.
Ball job
Suck your partner’s balls while he masturbates.
Anal invitation
Lube yourself up, spread your cheeks, and invite your partner to take your ass. Do it as a surprise for extra effect.
Also read Why Everybody Needs Lube? and How To Use Lube 29 Different Ways
Makeshift clamps
Try using clothespins as nipple clamps.
Edging
Bring yourselves on the edge of orgasm, but don’t let each other come all night.
Size training
Purchase the largest dildo from the store and try size training.
Pegging?
Peg your partner, if they’re up to it.
Read How to Prepare Your Partner For Pegging? and How To Peg: From Choosing Gear To Positions; Everything In Between
Flexible bondage
Test your partner’s flexibility with an ankle and fist bondage bar.
Slippery play
Grab old sheets, shower curtains, or sex sheets, and cover yourself with water-based lube before engaging in foreplay.
Wartenberg wheel
Explore your partner’s body with the devilish Wartenberg wheel.
Read Wartenberg Pinwheel: How To Use It For BDSM And Sensation Play?
Hairbrush
Spank your partner with a hairbrush.
CNC
Try a CNC – consensual non-consent scene, also known as rape play.
This is not something you want to surprise your partner with. Talk it out first. Also, read our CNC guide.
Interrogation
Role-play an interrogation. Tie your partner and ”torture” them while making them answer your questions.
Sensory deprivation
Try sensory deprivation. Use blindfolds, noise-canceling earplugs playing Beethoven or moaning sounds, and mouth gags – because when you block one or more senses, other senses become more sensitive.
Read How To Use A Ball Gag + Kinky Ways To Use A Mouth Gag
Try a flogger
Combine your new bondage skills with flogging. Run your nails through the flogged area. Caress the flogged area. Kiss the flogged area. Blow air on it. Repeat.
Erotic humiliation
Try erotic humiliation. One example of that is when you order your partner to play with themselves while you watch.
Electrostim
Erotic electrostimulation is a simple, non-expensive way to add something fresh to your sex life. Use those small currents to create sensations around the genitals and nipples.
Have a belt?
Have your partner wear your belt – around the waist. Use it during doggy style to pull them hard onto that dick. You can also use it around their head during blowjobs.
Virtual Reality porn
Experience Virtual Reality Porn with your favorite pornstar or a virtual gangbang.
Spice it up
If you loved the ideas from our little black book of kinky sex ideas, learn more ways to spice up your sex life, also from our little black book.
Games as a way of exploring kinky sex ideas
It might sound really silly but what helped us explore many kinky sex ideas are the sex games.
A bottle of wine and a great sex game can relax you both and ease the conversation as well as trying out new kinky sex ideas.
We compiled the list of best sex games for couples, just for that purpose – and playing those games eventually led us to create our games which were better suited for our sexploring preferences.
Interested in checking those out? See Foreplay Machine & Bedroom Banter
Looking to expand the list of kinky sex ideas?
The more kinky sex ideas you have up your sleeve the better.
Let’s face the truth, nobody wants a boring partner- but a partner who’s willing to explore (sexplore!), who’s willing to have conversations, and who suggests new things, brings an exhilarating dynamic to the relationship.
Such an approach, such openness not only keeps the spark alive and bright but also fosters emotional connection, ensuring that both partners feel valued, excited, and engaged in their sexploring journey together.
Continue loading up your kinky sex ideas arsenal with our article on sexual fantasies (aka erotic roleplay) and foreplay ideas. You might also fancy reading our won sex bucket list and how we made our own 30-day sex challenge – and finished it!
Explore different sex tips too. Brushing up your skills is a good mindset to have, even if you’re good at it.
Last but not least important, recently we made a whole point about how handjob sessions and fingering sessions are the simplest of the kinky sex idea out there. To paint the picture, explore 20+ handjob techniques, and explore The Sex Shed’s 25+ fingering techniques and you’ll get the idea of why we promote these basic acts as the main event of the night.
If you struggle with how to approach asking your partner to try such a session together or you both struggle with how to upgrade a 3-minute foreplay session into a whole thing, click here to read How to make hand jobs (or fingering) the main event.
Video lessons that motivated us to start trying out different kinky sex ideas
We regularly visit Kink Academy for new videos that can teach us new kink skills – and these 3 videos that helped us in this area of relationship were:
Heads up, the videos are explicit.
- 50 Ways To Get Started Having Kinky Sex
- Practical Examples of Mixing Kinky Play with Sex, Part 1
- Practical Examples for Mixing Kinky Play with Sex Part 2
Enjoy!
Sexplorers, if there is one kinky sex idea you could share, what would it be?
From our workshop
Thanks
You’re welcome!!