List of Kinks: 130+ Types of Kinks & Fetishes From A to Z

Abrasion

Also called: abrasion play, erotic abrasion

Abrasion is a type of sensation play where rough textures get dragged across the skin. Think loofahs, stiff brushes, coarse fabric, emery boards, fingernails or even fine sandpaper. The friction wakes the skin up, so the next soft touch or breath feels electric. That shift from scratchy to tender is the whole appeal. Start with the gentlest texture you own, test it on your own forearm first, and keep checking in. The goal is pink and tingly, not raw. If you do break skin, stop, clean it and treat it like any other graze. Our sensation play guide has softer tools to start with.

Further reading: Hurts So Fine: Erotic Abrasion - David Stein - San Francisco Leathermen’s Discussion Group

Actirasty

Actirasty is sexual arousal from sunlight - the warmth on your skin, the glow, the lazy heat of a sunny afternoon. For some it’s about the physical feeling of sun on bare skin. For others it’s wanting sex outdoors or by a big bright window. Very few cases are documented, and some experts think people may simply link great memories of summer sex to the sun itself. Either way, it’s harmless and easy to enjoy: a private balcony, a secluded garden or a sex-filled holiday. Just remember sunscreen, water and shade breaks. Sunburn in sensitive places is nobody’s idea of a good time.

Further reading: Not Just a Fetish: How Science and Slang Differ in Sex Talk - HuffPost

Agalmatophilia

Also called: pygmalionism, statue syndrome

Agalmatophilia is attraction to statues, mannequins, dolls and other human-like figures. The name comes from the Greek for “statue”, and the idea is ancient - the myth of Pygmalion, who fell for his own sculpture, is the classic example. The appeal is often the perfect, unchanging stillness of the figure, or the fantasy of it coming to life. Today many people explore it with sex dolls, or through role play where a partner holds still like a mannequin. Both are completely harmless between consenting adults. Admire museum statues with your eyes only, though. If you’re curious about dolls, see how to play with sex dolls.

Further reading: Agalmatophilia. The love for the statues in the Ancient World: the Cnidian Aphrodite and the case of Pygmalion - ResearchGate

Age Play

Also called: ageplay, little space, caregiver/little (CG/l), DDlg, ABDL (adult baby/diaper lover), infantilism

Age play is role play between consenting adults where one or both partners act out a different age. Most often it’s a caring “Daddy” or “Mommy” and a playful, younger-feeling “little”. Let’s be very clear: it has nothing to do with real children and is not about attraction to minors. It’s about the dynamic - nurturing, rules, praise, being looked after and letting go of adult stress. Some people enjoy it non-sexually. ABDL and infantilism are a more specific form involving baby roles and nappies. Start by talking about which roles, names and limits feel right, and check out our DDlg guide.

Further reading: Littles: Affects and Aesthetics in Sexual Age-Play - Sexuality & Culture (Springer)

Algolagnia

Also called: pain play, sadomasochism (S&M)

Algolagnia is getting turned on by pain - either receiving it (the masochistic side) or giving it (the sadistic side). It sounds intense, but it’s surprisingly common. Pain and pleasure share brain pathways, and a rush of endorphins can leave you floaty and blissed out. Pain also drags your attention fully into the moment. Most people start with a firm bite, a scratch, a pinch or a good spanking and build up from there. Agree on limits and a safeword before you begin. The receiver should always be the one setting the pace.

Further reading: Understanding the Pleasure of Pain - Psychology Today

Anal Play

Anal play covers any sexual touch involving the anus - fingers, tongues, plugs, beads, prostate toys and full penetration. The area is packed with nerve endings, and for people with a prostate it’s a direct route to some seriously intense orgasms. The golden rules: lots of lube (the anus doesn’t make its own), trimmed nails, start small and go slow. Pain means stop, not push through. Never switch from anal to vaginal play without washing up or changing the condom. Our tips on preparing for anal sex and the best anal lube are good places to start.

Further reading: First-Time Anal Sex: How to Do It and Necessary Precautions - WebMD

Anilingus (Rimming)

Also called: analingus, rimming, rim job, eating ass

Anilingus is using your mouth and tongue on your partner’s anus - licking, kissing and gentle probing. For the receiver it can feel incredibly intimate and sensitive. For the giver it’s often about trust and the taboo thrill of it all. A shower beforehand helps everyone relax. A dental dam is the safest option, because rimming can pass on infections like hepatitis A, herpes, gonorrhoea and gut bacteria. Skip it if either of you has a tummy bug or cuts around the mouth or bum. Want the full how-to? Read our rimming guide.

Further reading: What Is Rimming (Analingus)? 15 FAQs About Safety, How to Do It, More - Healthline

Armpit Fetish (Maschalagnia)

Also called: maschalagnia, pit fetish

An armpit fetish is attraction to armpits - how they look, smell, feel or taste. For many, scent is the big draw, since armpits are full of sweat glands linked to arousal and body chemistry. Others love the vulnerability of a raised arm, or the texture of hair versus smooth skin. It often turns up in worship or power play, with one partner nuzzling, kissing or licking while the other stays in charge. It’s low-risk and easy to try: start with kisses during sex and see how you both react. Agree in advance on things like freshly showered versus post-gym.

Further reading: Meet ‘Maschalagnia,’ the Armpit Fetish That’s Suddenly All Over the Internet - Vice

Balloon Fetish (Looners)

Also called: looners, balloon fetishism

Looners are people who get turned on by balloons and other inflatables. Within the community, “poppers” love the build-up and bang of a burst balloon, while “non-poppers” prefer squeezing, hugging, rubbing against or sitting on them without breaking them. The squeak and stretch of latex, the bouncy feel and the tension before a pop all play a part. Research suggests it’s a harmless interest with no link to poor mental health. Want to try it? Grab a bag of balloons and experiment. Just check for latex allergies, and keep pops away from ears and eyes.

Further reading: A Survey of the United Kink-dom: Investigating Five Paraphilic Interest Groups and Their Demographic and Psychological Correlates - The Journal of Sex Research (Taylor & Francis)

Biting

Also called: odaxelagnia, love bites

Biting as a kink (clinically, odaxelagnia) is arousal from biting or being bitten. It runs from playful nibbles on the neck, ear or lips to firmer bites that leave marks. The mix of pressure and sharp sensation is a turn-on for lots of people, and it can feel primal and possessive in the best way. Start soft, avoid sensitive spots like the throat and genitals, and use your lips to cushion your teeth. Never break the skin, because human bites infect easily. Talk about whether visible marks are OK before Monday’s meeting. Biting fits nicely into rough sex.

Further reading: #TuesdayTerms: Sanguinophilia & Odaxelagnia - Center for Positive Sexuality

Blindfold Play (Sensory Deprivation)

Also called: sensory deprivation

Blindfold play means taking away your partner’s sight so every other sense gets louder. Without being able to see, a touch, a kiss, a whisper or an ice cube becomes far more intense - and far more of a surprise. It also adds a delicious layer of trust and anticipation. It’s one of the easiest kinks to try. A silk sleep mask or a tie works fine. Agree beforehand on what’s on the menu, keep talking or touching so your partner isn’t left wondering, and make sure they can pull the blindfold off whenever they like. Our blindfold play guide has plenty of ideas.

Further reading: How To Have Sex With Blindfold, Sexy Ideas For Partners - Refinery29

Body Worship

Body worship is slow, devoted attention to your partner’s body - kissing, licking, massaging, caressing and praising it like it’s the main event, not a warm-up. It can be the whole body or one favourite part, such as feet, legs, chest, muscles or genitals. For the worshipper it’s about devotion and service. For the worshipped it’s a huge confidence boost. It often sits within a power dynamic, but it doesn’t have to. Agree on which areas are included, how long it should last and whether it’s sensual or sexual. Fans of foot fetish play will feel right at home.

Further reading: Exploring the Sensual Art of Body Worship in Human Sexuality - Whole Person Integration

Bondage

Also called: restraint play, BDSM bondage, rope bondage, shibari (Japanese rope bondage)

Bondage is tying up or restraining a partner with rope, cuffs, tape, scarves or straps. For the tied-up person, giving up control can be deeply freeing. For the one doing the tying, it’s a thrill of power and responsibility. Start simple with wrist cuffs or under-the-bed restraints rather than complicated rope work. Keep two fingers of space under every tie, watch for numbness or tingling, never put anything around the neck and never leave a bound partner alone. Keep safety shears nearby. Read what bondage is and our beginner bondage safety guide before you start.

Further reading: Bondage sex: Benefits, tips, and how to perform - Medical News Today

Brat Play (Bratting & Brat Taming)

Also called: bratting, brat taming, brat/tamer dynamic

Brat play is a power dynamic where the submissive partner (the brat) playfully misbehaves, talks back and breaks the rules on purpose. The dominant (the brat tamer) gets to “put them in their place”. Brats love the attention and the chase. Tamers love the challenge of winning the game. Common responses include spanking, tickling, orgasm denial or a funny punishment. Because “no” can be part of the fun, you need to agree on limits and a clear safeword first. Want to perfect your sass? Read how to be a brat.

Further reading: Understanding the Brat Role: A Dynamic Within BDSM - Feeld

Breath Play (Erotic Asphyxiation)

Also called: erotic asphyxiation, choking, breath control, hypoxyphilia

Breath play means restricting oxygen during sex - by choking, smothering or holding the breath - for the lightheaded, intense rush it can bring. We have to be blunt here: there is no truly safe way to do it. Pressure on the neck can cause unconsciousness within seconds, plus brain damage, stroke and death, often with no warning sign. Solo (autoerotic) breath play is the most dangerous of all. Our honest advice is to skip it. Try safer ways to get that sense of surrender instead: a hand resting on the collarbone (never the throat), holding your breath before orgasm, dirty talk or bondage. Read up on risk-aware kink.

Further reading: How safe is BDSM? A literature review on fatal outcome in BDSM play - PubMed Central (NCBI)

Breeding Kink

Also called: breeding fetish, impregnation kink

A breeding kink is arousal from the idea of impregnating someone or being impregnated - or simply from finishing inside. For many, it’s about primal desire, possessiveness, feeling claimed or the taboo of unprotected sex. Most people who enjoy it don’t actually want a baby. For them it lives in dirty talk, role play and fantasy. If you take it beyond words, be honest about the real risks of pregnancy and STIs, and talk about contraception and testing first. A fantasy line like “I’m going to fill you up” can deliver the thrill without the consequences.

Further reading: Breeding Fetish: What Does It Mean? - WebMD

Bukkake

Bukkake is a group sex act in which several men ejaculate on one person, usually on the face or body. The name comes from a Japanese word meaning “to splash”, and the genre took off in Japanese adult video in the 1980s and 90s. For the receiver, the turn-on is often being the centre of attention, along with messiness, degradation play or a feeling of being desired. Like any group sex, it calls for very clear consent, recent STI tests from everyone and a set of agreed rules. Keep fluids away from the eyes, and plan your clean-up and aftercare.

Further reading: Meet the Porn Pioneer Who Sold Bukkake to America - Vice

Candaulism

Also called: candaulesism

Candaulism is getting turned on by showing off your partner to others. It could mean revealing outfits in public, sharing photos or letting someone watch. The name comes from King Candaules in an ancient Greek story, who wanted his bodyguard to see his wife naked. The thrill is pride and desire: other people want your partner, and you get to go home with them. Unlike cuckolding, there’s usually no humiliation and no sex with third parties. Consent is everything here. Your partner must enthusiastically agree, and never share intimate photos without their permission. Our yes/no/maybe list helps set boundaries.

Further reading: Kinda Cucks: The Men Who Want to Know How You’d Have Sex with Their Wives - MEL Magazine

CFNM (Clothed Female, Naked Male)

Also called: clothed female naked male (the reverse is CMNF)

CFNM is a scene where a woman (or women) stays fully dressed while a man is completely naked. The contrast creates an instant power imbalance. He feels exposed and on display, while she feels in control and gets to look as much as she likes. It can tip into gentle humiliation or femdom play, or it can simply be about the visual. Try it by having him strip while you stay dressed for a whole evening. Because nudity can stir up unexpected feelings, check in during the scene and afterwards.

Further reading: Is The Clothed Female Naked Male Fetish Feminist? - Grazia

Chastity

Also called: chastity play, male chastity, cock cage, orgasm control

Chastity play means locking someone’s genitals in a device - usually a chastity cage for penises, or a belt - so they can’t touch themselves or orgasm until their keyholder says so. It’s all about denial, anticipation and handing over control, and the frustration can make the eventual release explosive. Start with a few hours, not weeks. Get a properly fitted, body-safe cage, clean it daily and keep a spare key somewhere accessible. Take it off at once for pain, swelling, numbness or colour changes. Our chastity cage play ideas will keep the keyholder busy.

Further reading: Why These Guys Put Their Dicks in Cages - Vice

Claustrophilia

Also called: enclosure play

Claustrophilia is arousal from being in tight, enclosed spaces - wardrobes, boxes, sleeping bags, vacuum beds or under heavy blankets. For many it’s the snug, held feeling and the sensory deprivation. For others it’s the helplessness, especially within a power dynamic. Safety matters a lot here. Make sure there’s always plenty of airflow, never lock or seal anything you can’t open in seconds, and never play alone. Keep a way to signal without speaking, and stop at the first sign of panic or overheating. Agree on a safeword before anyone climbs in.

Further reading: Paraphilias and Sexual Crimes - An Overview (Aggrawal) - Wiley Online Library

CNC (Consensual Non-Consent)

Also called: consensual non-consent, ravishment fantasy, rape play (older term)

CNC is role play where partners agree in advance to act out a scene that looks non-consensual - being “taken”, overpowered or forced. Everything is negotiated and wanted beforehand. It’s one of the most common fantasies around, often about surrendering control without guilt or feeling irresistibly desired. Because “no” and “stop” may be part of the script, you need detailed negotiation, hard limits, a safeword or safe gesture that always ends the scene, and real aftercare afterwards. It’s best tried with someone you deeply trust. Read our CNC guide and negotiation checklist first.

Further reading: Between Normalization and Transgression: The Complexity of Consensual Non-consent in BDSM - Sexuality & Culture (Springer)

Cock and Ball Torture (CBT)

Also called: CBT, cock and ball play, genitorture

CBT is any play that causes pain or intense sensation to the penis and testicles. That includes squeezing, slapping, flicking, tying, weights, clamps or trampling. Since this is one of the most sensitive parts of the body, the mix of vulnerability, pain and trust can be hugely arousing, especially within a femdom or D/s dynamic. Go slowly and build up. Steer clear of sharp blows to the testicles, and never cut off circulation for long. Stop at once if there’s numbness, cold, discolouration or lasting pain. Agree safewords first, and remember the receiver always sets the limit.

Further reading: Cock and Ball Torture (CBT): Kinky Fetish Meaning - Refinery29

Corset Fetish

Also called: tightlacing (extreme waist training)

A corset fetish is attraction to corsets - wearing them, lacing someone into them or admiring the hourglass shape they create. Part of the appeal is visual. Part of it is the feeling of restriction, posture and being “held”. The lacing ritual itself can be a slow, intimate act of control between partners. Some people take it further into tightlacing for a dramatically small waist. Start with a well-fitted steel-boned corset, lace it gradually and never so tight that you can’t breathe deeply. Take it off if you feel dizzy, numb or in pain.

Further reading: Jar-Sized Waists: The High Cost of Extreme Corset Training - Vice

Crossdressing

Also called: cross-dressing, transvestic fetishism (clinical), sissy play (in some BDSM contexts)

Crossdressing means wearing clothes usually associated with another gender, and for some people that’s a sexual turn-on. It might be lingerie, stockings, heels, make-up or a full transformation. The appeal can be the feel of the fabrics, playing with gender, stepping outside everyday expectations or the vulnerability of being seen. Crossdressing isn’t automatically a kink, and it isn’t the same as being trans. For many it’s just self-expression. With a partner, start by sharing the fantasy and shopping together. Lingerie made for male bodies, like MOB Eroticwear, makes a comfortable first step.

Further reading: Transvestism: A Survey of 1032 Cross-Dressers - Archives of Sexual Behavior (Springer)

Cuckolding & Cuckqueaning

Also called: cuck, hotwifing (a related, humiliation-free version), cuckquean (female version)

Cuckolding is getting turned on by your partner having sex with someone else, often while you watch or hear all about it afterwards. Cuckqueaning is the same thing when the watching partner is a woman. For some it involves humiliation and jealousy as a turn-on. For others it’s compersion: pleasure in seeing your partner enjoy themselves. It’s a big step, so start with fantasy and dirty talk first, then agree clear rules on protection, STI tests, what’s allowed and how you’ll reconnect afterwards. Our guide to bringing up a kink helps with that first conversation.

Further reading: Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Cuckolding - Sex and Psychology (Dr. Justin Lehmiller)

Dacryphilia

Also called: crying kink, tear fetish

Dacryphilia is getting turned on by tears, crying or the emotional release that comes with it. For some people it’s about tenderness - seeing a partner completely vulnerable and getting to comfort them. For others it sits inside a dom/sub dynamic, where being “made” to cry by intensity (not real harm) feels like the ultimate surrender. Crying after an intense orgasm or scene is common too, but that’s not the same as the kink. If you want to explore it, talk first about what kind of tears are welcome, agree on a safeword, and plan proper aftercare, because the emotions are real.

Further reading: Dacryphilia: Can Crying Be Sexually Arousing? And 14 Other FAQs - Healthline

Daddy Kink

Also called: Daddy Dom

Daddy kink is adult role play built around a partner who is caring but firmly in charge - protective, a little strict, and the one calling the shots. Calling someone “Daddy” in bed usually signals authority and reassurance, not family, and it has nothing to do with real children: it’s two consenting adults playing with a power dynamic. People love the mix of being looked after and being told what to do (or being the one trusted to lead). Some keep it to one word in the heat of the moment; others build a fuller caregiver dynamic. Our DDlg guide covers the deeper version.

Further reading: Why Women Like to Call Men ‘Daddy’ During Sex - VICE

Degradation

Also called: degradation kink, humiliation play

Degradation is consensual play where one partner is verbally put down, called names or treated as “less than” during sex. It works because it’s a fantasy with a safety net: the person on the receiving end gets to switch off, drop the pressure of being competent and in control, and feel shame flip into arousal - knowing it’s not what their partner really thinks of them. Start with words only, agree exactly which names are hot and which are hard limits (body, intelligence and family are common no-go zones), and use a safeword. Because it can stir up real feelings, aftercare that reaffirms affection is non-negotiable.

Further reading: People Don’t Have Degradation Kinks for the Reason You Think - VICE

Dendrophilia

Dendrophilia literally means “love of trees”. Sometimes it’s a deep, protective affection for trees and nature; sometimes it’s genuine sexual attraction - rubbing against bark, embracing a trunk or feeling turned on in a forest. It overlaps with ecosexuality, a movement that treats the earth as a lover. There’s almost no research on it, so it’s mostly something people describe rather than something scientists have studied. For most, the easiest way in is outdoor sensuality: skinny-dipping, sex on a blanket under the trees on private land. Watch for splinters, insects and poison ivy, and remember public indecency laws - keep it somewhere you’re actually allowed.

Further reading: Dendrophilia, or Love of Trees: Is It Always Sexual? And 12 Other FAQs - Healthline

Dirty Talk

Dirty talk is saying sexy things out loud before or during sex - describing what you’re doing, what you want, or what you’re about to do to your partner. It’s one of the most common kinks around because it turns sex into a shared fantasy and tells your partner exactly what’s working. You don’t need porn-star lines: start by narrating (“I love how you feel”), moaning, or asking “what do you want me to do next?”. Check in beforehand about words you both love or hate, since some people can’t stand certain body-part terms or nicknames. Our list of 436 dirty talk examples gives you plenty of material.

Further reading: A Beginner’s Guide to Talking Dirty Virtually or IRL - Healthline

DIY Porn & Filming

Also called: homemade porn, sex tapes

DIY porn means filming or photographing yourselves having sex, to watch back together or, for some, to share. The thrill comes from performing for the camera, seeing yourselves from the outside and keeping a souvenir of a hot night. Consent is everything: everyone on camera must agree to being filmed, and sharing or posting needs its own separate, explicit yes - posting without it is image-based abuse and a crime in many places. Keep faces and tattoos out of frame, strip location data, store files in an encrypted folder away from auto-syncing cloud backups, and agree up front what happens to the footage if you break up.

Further reading: How to Make a Sex Tape, According to a Former Porn Star - VICE

Dominance & Submission (D/s)

Also called: power exchange, Dom/sub

D/s is a consensual power exchange: one partner (the dominant) takes control, and the other (the submissive) willingly hands it over within agreed limits. It’s less about any particular act and more about the dynamic - rules, orders, rituals, praise and punishment. Some people only play during scenes; others live a 24/7 dynamic. People love it for the trust, the clarity of roles and the relief of either leading or letting go. Start by working out whether you’re dominant, submissive or a switch, negotiate your limits, and read our D/s relationship guide.

Further reading: Bondage-Discipline, Dominance-Submission and Sadomasochism (BDSM) From an Integrative Biopsychosocial Perspective: A Systematic Review - PMC (National Library of Medicine)

Edging

Also called: orgasm control, peaking, the stop-start method

Edging means bringing yourself or a partner right to the brink of orgasm, then stopping or slowing down before going over - and repeating. The build-up tends to make the final orgasm much stronger, and practising it can help you last longer in bed. Solo, try backing off when you hit about an 8 out of 10. With a partner, it easily becomes a power-play game where they decide when (or if) you’re allowed to come. It’s safe for most bodies; the most common downside is a temporary ache or frustration if you stop without finishing.

Further reading: Edging & Orgasm Control: Benefits, 5 Ways to Do It & Why It Works - Healthline

Electrostimulation (Electro Play)

Also called: e-stim, electrosex

Electro play uses low-voltage devices to send tingling, buzzing or pulsing currents through the skin, usually on the genitals, thighs or bum. People love the unusual sensations - nothing else feels quite like it - and the power dynamic when one partner controls the dial. Safety note: only use toys made for erotic e-stim (never DIY rigs or anything connected to mains power), keep everything below the waist and never send current across the chest or heart, and skip it entirely if you have a pacemaker, a heart condition or epilepsy, or are pregnant. Start on the lowest setting, avoid broken skin, and turn it up slowly.

Further reading: ‘Electrosex’ Is Going Mainstream and Men Are Losing Their Minds Over It - VICE

Emetophilia

Also called: vomit fetish

Emetophilia is sexual arousal from vomiting or watching someone vomit. It’s rare and very much an edge kink; for some it’s about loss of control or breaking a huge taboo, for others it grows out of rough throat play. Many people keep it to fantasy or videos. Safety note: never induce vomiting in someone else, and don’t make it a regular habit - stomach acid damages teeth and throat, and repeated vomiting causes dehydration. Keep water nearby, lay down towels, and clean up thoroughly, since vomit can spread infections. If it ever overlaps with disordered eating, talk to a professional. It’s not to be confused with emetophobia, the fear of vomiting.

Further reading: We Asked a Vomit Fetishist How The Hell You Get Into That Kind of Thing - VICE

Eproctophilia

Also called: fart fetish

Eproctophilia is being turned on by farts - the sound, the smell, or the intimacy of a partner breaking wind on or near you. Some people love farting on a partner (sometimes combined with face-sitting), others love being on the receiving end, and most are firmly not into scat, which is a separate interest. Part of the appeal is the taboo: farts are “embarrassing”, so sharing them can feel intensely intimate or playfully humiliating. It’s harmless as long as both partners are genuinely into it. If face-sitting is involved, wash first, keep underwear on if you prefer, and make sure the person underneath can breathe and tap out easily.

Further reading: Eproctophilia in a Young Adult Male (Archives of Sexual Behavior) - Nottingham Trent University

Erotic Hypnosis

Also called: hypnokink, erotic trance

Erotic hypnosis uses hypnotic techniques - a calm voice, deep relaxation, repeated suggestions - to heighten arousal, trigger sensations or play with power. Fans describe deep trust and a floaty, focused headspace in which a single word can feel like a touch. It’s often done with a partner, a kink-aware hypnotist or audio files. Hypnosis can’t make anyone act against their values, but it does make people more suggestible, so negotiate goals, limits and a safeword while fully alert, and never plant “triggers” you haven’t agreed on. Read our take in Erotic Hypnosis: What Is It & Should You Even Try It.

Further reading: 10 Erotic Hypnosis FAQs: What It Is, How It Works, What to Do, More - Healthline

Exhibitionism

Consensual exhibitionism is getting turned on by being watched - showing off your body or having sex while others look. The rush comes from feeling desired and a little daring. The key word is consensual: everyone watching must have agreed to it. Flashing or exposing yourself to people who haven’t consented isn’t a kink, it’s a sex crime. Safe ways in include sex in front of a mirror, sending nudes to a partner who wants them, nude beaches, sex clubs, or camming for a willing audience. Our public sex guide explains why “getting caught” fantasies are best played out where nobody unwilling can see.

Further reading: Exhibitionism: What Does It Mean? - WebMD

Feederism

Also called: feeder/feedee play, gaining

Feederism is an erotic interest in feeding and, often, weight gain. “Feeders” enjoy feeding a partner; “feedees” enjoy being fed, feeling full or gaining. For some it’s mostly about intimacy and the indulgence of being pampered with food; for others it’s about body change or a power dynamic. Plenty of people keep it to fantasy, role play or the occasional “stuffing” session. Because real weight gain affects health, this one needs ongoing, honest conversation: the feedee stays in charge of their own body and goals, and pressure or control around food crosses the line from kink into abuse. Regular health check-ups are smart if gaining is involved.

Further reading: Feederism: Eating, Weight Gain, and Sexual Pleasure - Palgrave Macmillan (Springer)

Femdom

Also called: female domination, Domme, Mistress play

Femdom is any dynamic where a woman takes the dominant role - giving orders, setting rules, controlling her partner’s pleasure, or dishing out spanking, pegging or humiliation. Many people enjoy it for the reversal of expectations: plenty of people who carry a lot of responsibility day to day love handing it over, and plenty of women love taking it. It can be as light as her being firmly in charge in bed or as structured as a 24/7 dynamic. Negotiate limits, use safewords, and remember the Domme needs care too. Our femdom article digs into why so many men crave it.

Further reading: Sexually Dominant Women and the Men Who Desire Them, Part I - Psychology Today

Figging

Figging means inserting a peeled, carved piece of fresh ginger root into the anus, where its natural oils create an intense, spreading burn. It’s an old-school punishment play that’s popular with sensation and impact fans: the burn makes you clench, and clenching makes it burn more - which is exactly the point during spanking. Carve the piece into a small plug shape with a flared base or notch so it can’t slip in, start small, and test on a less sensitive spot first. The heat usually fades within 20-30 minutes. Most educators advise against vaginal use because the tissue is far more sensitive, and skip it on broken or irritated skin.

Further reading: An Intro to Figging - The Kink Where You Put Ginger in Your Butt - VICE

Financial Domination (Findom)

Also called: money domination, paypig play

Financial domination is a power-exchange kink where a submissive (a “finsub” or “paypig”) gets off on handing over money or gifts to a dominant (a “findomme” or “findom”). The thrill is surrendering control over something that genuinely matters, often mixed with humiliation and worship. Much of it happens online, and for many findommes it’s a form of sex work. Set a budget you can truly afford before you start - never debt, rent or savings - and walk away from anyone demanding account access, blackmail material or “investments”. Real findom has negotiated consent and limits; scams don’t.

Further reading: Findommes, Cybermediated Sex Work, and Rinsing - PMC (National Library of Medicine)

Fisting

Fisting means gradually inserting a whole hand into the vagina or anus. People love the profound fullness and the intense trust and focus it takes - it’s slow, deliberate play, never something rushed. Safety note: trim and file nails smooth, take off rings, wear gloves, and use oceans of lube (avoid oil-based lube with latex gloves). Build up over many sessions with fingers or toys, tuck your thumb in to form a narrow “duck beak”, go extremely slowly, and stop at any pain. Pull out just as gently. Anal fisting carries a higher risk of tears, so get your anal prep right and seek medical help for bleeding or severe pain.

Further reading: A Beginner’s Guide to Fisting - VICE

Flogging

Flogging is striking the body with a flogger - a handle with many strands (falls) of leather, suede or rubber. Heavy, wide falls give a deep, “thuddy”, almost massage-like feeling; thin ones sting. People love the rhythm, the endorphin rush and the way it can tip the receiver into a floaty headspace. Aim only at well-padded areas like the meaty parts of the upper back, the bum and the thighs; avoid the spine, kidneys, neck, head and joints, and practise your swing on a pillow first. Our 17 tips for flogging and guide to choosing impact toys are a great place to start.

Further reading: A Beginner’s Guide To BDSM Toys - Bustle

Food Play (Sitophilia)

Also called: food sex, sploshing (for messy food play)

Food play brings food into sex - licking whipped cream off a partner, feeding each other strawberries, eating off someone’s body, or messy pie-in-the-face “sploshing”. It mixes taste, texture and temperature with a naughty, indulgent feel, which makes it a playful entry into sensation play. Keep sugary or oily foods away from the vagina (yeast infections and irritation are real), put a condom on anything you insert and never insert anything that could snap, check for food allergies, and lay down a towel or sheet you don’t care about. The clean-up shower can be half the fun.

Further reading: Hot Sex With Food Ideas For Foreplay & Kinky Seduction - Refinery29

Foot Fetish (Podophilia)

Also called: foot worship, foot partialism

A foot fetish is sexual interest in feet - their shape, scent, toes and soles, or what’s on them (socks, heels, nylons). It’s one of the most common fetishes going, possibly because the brain areas that process sensation from the feet and the genitals sit right next to each other. People enjoy massaging, kissing, toe sucking, foot jobs, or foot worship as part of a power dynamic. An easy starting point: a long foot massage that slowly drifts into kissing. Keep feet clean, skip it if there’s athlete’s foot or broken skin, and check out our foot fetish guide for more ideas.

Further reading: Foot Fetish (Podophilia): Everything You Need to Know - WebMD

Forniphilia (Human Furniture)

Forniphilia is a form of objectification play in which a submissive becomes furniture - a footstool, table, lamp or coat rack - holding still, often in bondage, while the dominant “uses” or displays them. The appeal is the extreme power exchange: total stillness can feel meditative or deliciously humiliating for the sub, while the dom enjoys owning the room. Keep scenes short at first, pad knees and hands, never rest hot drinks or anything heavy on a person, check for numbness and circulation often, and agree a non-verbal safe signal. Our beginner bondage safety guide applies here too.

Further reading: Allen Jones: the body politic - Dazed

Furries

Also called: furry fandom

Furries are people who love anthropomorphic animal characters - animals with human traits - and many create a personal character called a “fursona”, sometimes with a full costume (“fursuit”). Research shows the fandom is mostly about creativity, art and community rather than sex, but for some it does include erotic art, role play or “yiff” (furry sex). Exploring it as a kink might mean playing as your fursonas with a partner, sharing furry art, or adding ears and tails to pet play-style scenes. Fursuits get hot, so keep water close, and remember it’s fantasy role play between humans - nothing to do with real animals.

Further reading: More Than Just a Pretty Face: Unmasking Furry Fandom - Psychology Today

Gags & Gagging

Also called: gag play, throat play

This covers two things: wearing a gag (ball, bit, ring or cloth) that muffles speech, and “gagging” - the throat reflex some people enjoy triggering during deep oral sex. Gags add helplessness and drooly surrender; gagging play is usually about intensity and service. Safety: a gagged person can’t say a safeword, so agree on a non-verbal signal first (dropping a ball, tapping three times), never gag someone with a blocked nose or who feels sick, and take the gag out regularly to rest the jaw. For throat play, the receiver sets the pace. Our ball gag guide covers the details.

Further reading: 28 Kinky Sex Toy Types for Beginners and Beyond: Gags, Whips, More - Healthline

Gangbangs & Group Sex

Also called: orgies, moresomes, group play

Group sex is any sex with three or more people; a gangbang specifically centres one person who has sex with several partners, often in turn. The draw is abundance - more hands, more attention, more energy - plus the exhibitionist thrill of being watched. Plan carefully: the person at the centre sets the rules, a safeword or stop signal applies to everyone, condoms and gloves get changed between partners, and everyone talks STI testing in advance. Stay sober enough to consent, and no phones or filming without explicit permission. Our beginner’s guide to group sex walks you through it.

Further reading: How To Have Group Sex 101 - Bustle

Gender Play

Also called: genderplay, gender-bending role play

Gender play is consensual role play that plays with gender - wearing clothes associated with another gender, using different names or pronouns in a scene, swapping who penetrates with a strap-on, or “feminisation” and “masculinisation” scenes inside a power dynamic. For some it’s a fun costume; for others it’s a meaningful, private way to explore gender expression. Talk beforehand about which words, clothes and roles feel hot and which feel off-limits or bring up dysphoria, and keep a safeword handy. It’s play, so it should never mock anyone’s real identity. Pegging is a popular entry point for many couples.

Further reading: Working the Kinks Out - Scarleteen

Gerontophilia

Gerontophilia is a primary sexual attraction to much older people, usually those in their 60s and beyond. It’s different from simply dating someone older: for gerontophiles, signs of age - grey hair, wrinkles, softer bodies - are the turn-on. Research is scarce, and experts still debate whether it’s best seen as a paraphilia or a kind of age-based orientation. Like any attraction, it’s fine between consenting adults who are free to say yes. Watch for power imbalances around health, money or memory: an older partner must have full capacity to consent. For couples, age-gap role play is a fantasy-only way to play with the theme.

Further reading: Sexual Disorders and Paraphilic Interests, Male: Chronophilia - Springer (Encyclopedia of Sexual Psychology and Behavior)

Glove Fetish

A glove fetish is arousal from gloves - wearing them, seeing them worn, or being touched by gloved hands. Leather, latex, satin and long opera gloves are favourites, and the smell, sound and texture matter as much as the look. Gloves can signal authority (the leather-gloved Dom, latex “doctor” role play) or old-school elegance, and they change how every touch feels. Start by wearing them for a massage or a slippery handjob with plenty of lube. Check for latex allergies first, don’t use oil-based lube with latex, and clean or swap gloves between body parts so you don’t spread bacteria.

Further reading: Fetishistic Disorder - Psychology Today

Gooning

Gooning is long, trance-like masturbation - often hours of porn and edging - where the goal isn’t orgasm but staying on the edge in a blissed-out, mindless state. Fans describe it as a kind of meditative surrender, and it has grown into an online subculture with dedicated “goon caves” and shared sessions. Edging itself is harmless, but marathon sessions can rub skin raw (use lube), eat into sleep and, for some, crowd out partners or work. Set a time limit, take breaks to drink water, and if you can’t stop when you want to, or need ever more extreme content to feel anything, consider talking to a sex therapist.

Further reading: Welcome to the Age of Gooning, Where Porn and Pleasure Blur Into Obsession - VICE

Hair Pulling

Hair pulling means grabbing a handful of hair during sex or play for a jolt of sensation and a clear signal of who’s in charge. People love it because it mixes a tingly scalp rush with a dominant-submissive vibe, and it needs zero equipment. Ask first, then take a full handful close to the roots and pull steadily rather than yanking a few strands or wrenching the neck, and agree on a quick way to say “ease off”. If you like it, it fits right into rough sex done the consensual way.

Further reading: Sensual, Erotic, and Sexual Behaviors of Women from the “Kink” Community - PMC (Archives of Sexual Behavior)

Hand Fetish (Chirophilia)

Also called: cheirophilia, hand partialism

A hand fetish means hands are a big source of arousal - their shape, long fingers, veins, rings, painted nails, rough working skin or simply the way they move. Technically it’s a partialism (an attraction to a specific body part) rather than a fetish for an object, and it’s far from rare. You can play with it through slow hand massages, finger sucking, putting gloves on and peeling them off, or an unhurried, attentive handjob. Our handjob techniques guide gives you plenty of material.

Further reading: Partialism: What Is It and Is It “Healthy?” - Healthline

Hierophilia

Hierophilia is arousal linked to religious or sacred objects and roles - crosses, rosaries, robes, nun or priest costumes, a confession booth. For most people the charge comes from taboo: mixing something “forbidden” with sex and playing with ideas of guilt, purity and sin. The usual way in is private role play, like a “confession” scene, a strict priest or a naughty nun. If religious guilt is part of your real history, go gently and talk afterwards, because this one can stir up more than you expect. Our erotic roleplay scenarios can help you build the scene.

Further reading: Sacred Hearts - Psychology Today

Humiliation

Also called: erotic humiliation, degradation kink

Erotic humiliation is consensual play where one partner embarrasses, teases or degrades the other - verbally (name-calling, mocking, “you’re such a slut”) or physically (kneeling, begging, wearing something silly). It’s rarely about real self-worth: the rush comes from surrender, from being “bad”, and from the trust it takes to hear those words from someone who actually adores you. Negotiate exact words and topics in advance, since some will be hot and others will genuinely wound, and agree on a safeword. Thoughtful aftercare matters a lot here.

Further reading: Why Are Some People Aroused By Sexual Humiliation? - Sex and Psychology (Justin Lehmiller)

Hybristophilia

Also called: Bonnie and Clyde syndrome

Hybristophilia is sexual attraction to people who have committed crimes, often notorious or violent ones - think of the fan mail some infamous offenders receive. Researchers link it to the thrill of danger, the “bad boy” archetype, a wish to rescue or tame someone, and media that romanticises criminals. For most people it lives safely in fantasy: true-crime crushes, fiction, or outlaw role play like cops and robbers or Bonnie and Clyde on the run. Keep it there - real crime and real violence are never part of the game.

Further reading: Unpacking the Construction of Online Identities of Hybristophilia Communities on TikTok - Deviant Behavior (Taylor & Francis)

Impact Play

Also called: spanking, flogging, paddling, caning

Impact play covers any consensual striking of the body for pleasure, from a playful hand spank to paddles, floggers, crops and canes. People love the mix of sting and thud, the endorphin rush, and the power dynamic of giving or receiving. Start with your hand on fleshy areas like the bum and thighs, warm up gradually, use a 1-10 scale to check in, and avoid the spine, kidneys, neck, head and joints. Our guides to erotic spanking and choosing your first paddle, flogger or crop will get you going.

Further reading: 20 Impact Play Tips and Tricks: What to Use, Safe Zones, and Aftercare - Healthline

Inflation Fetish

Also called: body inflation, expansion fetish

An inflation fetish is arousal from the idea of a body - usually a belly, breasts or butt, sometimes the whole person - swelling up like a balloon. It’s overwhelmingly a fantasy kink, explored through art, stories, animation and role play (the blueberry scene in Willy Wonka gets credited a lot), and some fans enjoy inflatable suits or padding for the look. Sharing the art or stories that do it for you is an easy way to bring a partner in. Keep it in fantasy, though: pumping air or liquid into a real body can cause serious injury.

Further reading: What Does it Mean to Have an Inflation Fetish? - Modern Intimacy

Interrogation Play

Interrogation play is a role-play scene where one partner plays the interrogator and the other a captive guarding a “secret” - a password, a code, where the stolen diamonds are hidden. The fun is in the resistance and the eventual surrender, often helped along by restraints, a blindfold, tickling or teasing as “persuasion”. Because the captive is supposed to say “no” in character, agree on a clear safeword (or a dropped object if they’re gagged) and off-limits topics before you start. Our power-exchange roleplay scenarios have more ideas.

Further reading: A Beginner’s Guide to Hot Role Play - VICE

Japanese Bondage (Shibari & Kinbaku)

Also called: shibari, kinbaku, Japanese rope bondage

Shibari (“to tie”) and kinbaku (“tight binding”) are Japanese styles of rope bondage that care as much about intricate, beautiful patterns as about restraint. They trace back to hojojutsu, a historic method of restraining prisoners, and grew into an erotic art form in 20th-century Japan. Many people love the slow, almost meditative intimacy between the rigger and the person being tied. Start with simple floor ties, keep safety shears nearby, check often for numbness or tingling, and leave suspension to trained riggers. See which rope to use and safe beginner positions.

Further reading: A Brief History of Japanese Rope Bondage - VICE

Jealousy Play

Jealousy play means deliberately stirring up a little jealousy for erotic effect - flirting with someone in front of your partner, describing an attractive stranger, or teasing about an ex. For some, that pang of “mine” fuels possessive, high-energy sex, and it overlaps with cuckolding and with compersion, the joy of seeing your partner desired by others. Agree in advance what’s playful and what’s off-limits, keep it inside your relationship’s real agreements, and check in afterwards. A yes/no/maybe list helps, because jealousy can stop being sexy fast.

Further reading: Jealousy or Compersion? - Psychology Today

JOI (Jerk-Off Instruction)

Also called: jerk-off instructions, guided masturbation

JOI is when someone tells you exactly how to touch yourself - how fast, how hard, when to stop, and when (or whether) you’re allowed to finish. It’s a huge genre in porn and erotic audio, but it also makes a fun partner game over the phone, on video or face to face. The appeal is handing over control, so the tone can range from sweet encouragement to teasing domination, often with edging and countdowns. Try it during phone sex and borrow lines from our dirty talk examples.

Further reading: JOI Is Quietly Becoming the Internet’s Favorite Kink - VICE

Katoptronophilia

Also called: mirror sex, mirror fetish

Katoptronophilia is arousal from having sex or masturbating in front of mirrors. Watching yourselves adds a visual, almost porn-like layer, and many people find it a real confidence boost to see how good they look turned on. A full-length mirror beside the bed or a mirrored wardrobe door is all you need, and doggy style or standing positions facing the glass work especially well. If seeing yourself feels awkward at first, our tips on confidence in the bedroom can help.

Further reading: Turn Yourself On Sexually: Reasons for Katoptronophilia - Refinery29

Klismaphilia

Also called: enema play, enema fetish

Klismaphilia is sexual pleasure from giving or receiving enemas - the feeling of fullness, pressure on the prostate or vaginal wall, the vulnerability, and sometimes a caregiving or medical role play. It often overlaps with anal play. Safety note: use body-safe equipment made for enemas, plain warm water only (never alcohol, soap or anything “spicy”), a gentle flow and plenty of lube, and don’t do it too often, since frequent enemas can irritate the bowel and upset your electrolyte balance. Our anal prep guide covers the basics.

Further reading: Klismaphilia - a physiological perspective - PubMed (American Journal of Psychotherapy)

Knife Play

Also called: blade play, edge play

Knife play uses blades to create fear, tension and sharp sensation - a cold flat edge gliding over skin, the threat of the tip, sometimes very light scratches. Much of the thrill is psychological, and plenty of people never break skin at all. Safety note: this is edge play, so learn from experienced players, start with the blunt spine or a dull prop knife, and avoid the neck, groin, inner arms and joints. If blood is involved, use sterile single-use blades, cut only shallowly, treat it as a bloodborne-pathogen risk (gloves, STI and HIV testing, first aid kit), and skip it if self-harm is part of your history.

Further reading: Knife Play, DMT, and The Trail of Dead - VICE

Knismolagnia (Tickling)

Also called: tickle fetish, knismophilia

Knismolagnia is sexual arousal from tickling, being tickled or watching someone get tickled. It blends laughter, helplessness and intense sensation, which is why “tickle torture” with one partner lightly restrained is a classic kinky scene. Start with fingertips or a feather on the ribs, feet, neck or inner thighs, and pay close attention to your partner’s reactions. Laughing hard can make it difficult to say stop, so agree on a non-verbal signal first. Our ways to tickle your partner have plenty of ideas.

Further reading: Tickle fetishism: pleasure beyond playfulness - PMC (National Library of Medicine)

Lactophilia

Also called: lactation fetish, adult breastfeeding, adult nursing relationship (ANR)

Lactophilia is arousal connected to breast milk, lactating breasts or breastfeeding between adults. For some it’s about taste and sensation, for others the deep closeness of an adult nursing relationship, and for some it feeds caregiver or power dynamics. It’s an adult-to-adult kink with nothing to do with children. Lactation can be induced without pregnancy through regular stimulation, but it takes real commitment, so talk it through and listen to the body doing the work. Our breast play guide is a gentler place to start.

Further reading: The A to Z of Sexual History: L - Lactation - VICE

Latex & Rubber Fetish

Also called: rubberism, latex fetish

A latex or rubber fetish centres on the look, feel and smell of rubber - glossy catsuits, gloves, hoods, stockings or sheets. Fans describe it as a “second skin” that heightens every touch and temperature change, makes them feel powerful or transformed, and hugs so tightly it feels a bit like bondage. Start small with gloves or shorts, use a dressing aid or lube to get in, and a silicone shine spray to make it gleam. Skip it if you have a latex allergy, and never leave someone fully encased and overheating.

Further reading: Latex fetishists discuss the joys of a second skin - Dazed

Leather Fetish

A leather fetish is arousal from leather’s smell, creak, texture and look - jackets, harnesses, boots, gloves, chaps, collars and cuffs. It’s also a whole culture: the leather scene grew out of post-war gay biker communities and still carries strong traditions around masculinity, power exchange and looking after each other. Some people simply love wearing it, others love being dominated by someone dressed in it, and boot worship is a classic crossover. A leather collar or a set of cuffs is an easy first step.

Further reading: Sexuality in the 21st century: Leather or rubber? Fetishism explained - PMC (National Library of Medicine)

Lingerie Fetish

A lingerie fetish is arousal centred on the lingerie itself - lace, silk, satin, stockings, garters, corsets - sometimes as much as on the person wearing it. People love the tease of partial covering, the textures under their fingers and the sense of occasion it brings. Explore by shopping together, building a slow striptease around it, or keeping it on during sex. And it’s not just for women: see our take on sexy lingerie for men.

Further reading: Since Covid, Lingerie Sales Have Soared - Psychology Today

Macrophilia

Also called: giantess fetish, giant fetish

Macrophilia is a fantasy attraction to giants or giantesses - beings many times your size, from a few feet taller to skyscraper-high. It usually revolves around power and vulnerability: being tiny, overwhelmed, held or, in fiction, nearly stepped on. It lives almost entirely in art, stories, edited photos, games and role play, where a tall partner, low camera angles or vivid scene-setting does the heavy lifting. It pairs naturally with femdom dynamics and plenty of verbal teasing.

Further reading: The Men Who Want to Have Sex with Actual Giants - VICE

Mask Fetish

A mask fetish is arousal from wearing or seeing masks - masquerade masks, latex or leather hoods, pup hoods, gas masks or full-face “character” masks. The draw is anonymity and transformation: behind a mask you can be bolder, and your partner becomes mysterious, faceless or a fantasy figure. A simple masquerade mask is a playful start. For hoods that cover more of the face, keep the nose and mouth openings clear, watch for overheating, and never leave someone hooded alone. Our Masks of Desire story series captures the vibe.

Further reading: 15 Photos Of Men Who Enjoy A Fetish You’ve Never Heard Of - Refinery29

Masochism

Masochism is getting pleasure - sexual, emotional or both - from receiving pain, discipline or intense sensation. It isn’t about wanting to be harmed: consensual pain releases adrenaline and endorphins, can quiet a busy mind, and the trust around it turns a sting into something delicious. Masochists come in all flavours, from light spanking fans to people who chase deep subspace. Start slow with a partner who checks in, use a safeword, and read up on risk-aware play before going harder.

Further reading: Why do some people enjoy experiencing pain during sex? - Medical News Today

Medical Play

Also called: medical fetish, doctor/nurse role play

Medical play is role play built around exams and clinical settings - doctor and patient, nurse, gynaecologist - often with gloves, a stethoscope, a speculum or a lab coat. The appeal is the power imbalance, being “examined”, and cool clinical detachment mixed with intimacy and taboo. Keep anything that goes inside the body sterile and body-safe, skip real procedures you’re not trained for (injections, catheters), and remember hospitals are traumatic for some people, so negotiate carefully. Our erotic roleplay scenarios can help you script it.

Further reading: Medical Fetishism, Benzo Withdrawal, and the Swedish Avant-Garde - VICE

Melolagnia

Melolagnia is sexual arousal caused by music. For some people it’s a specific song, genre or voice; for others it’s rhythm and tempo building tension and release. Lots of people already have a sex playlist, which makes this one of the easiest entries on the list to explore: build a soundtrack, match your pace to the beat, or pick a track with a slow build and time things to it. Pair it with blindfold play so the music fills every sense.

Further reading: How music-induced emotions affect sexual attraction: evolutionary implications - PMC (Frontiers in Psychology)

Microphilia

Also called: shrinking fetish

Microphilia is the flip side of macrophilia: arousal from fantasies of being shrunk to a tiny size, or of shrinking a partner down. It plays with helplessness, vulnerability and seeing a lover’s body as a vast landscape. Since nobody can actually shrink, it’s explored through stories, art, games and role play, often with dirty talk (“you’re so small”) and a power dynamic where the “giant” is in charge. Our power-exchange roleplay ideas are a good starting point.

Further reading: That’s My Fetish: Giantesses - MEL Magazine

Mummification

Also called: mummy bondage, full-body wrapping

Mummification is a form of bondage where someone is wrapped from neck to toe in cling film, bondage tape, bandages or a sleep sack until they can barely move. People love the total helplessness, the snug cocooned pressure and the sensory deprivation. Safety note: never cover the nose or mouth, keep safety shears within reach, watch for overheating, panic and circulation problems, and never leave a wrapped person alone. Our bondage tape guide is a good place to begin.

Further reading: List Of Kinks: 25 Common Kinks & Fetishes, Per Sex Experts - mindbodygreen

Mysophilia

Mysophilia is arousal from dirt, mess and “dirty” things - muddy or sweaty bodies, worn underwear, unwashed skin and strong body smells. For many it’s about raw, primal intimacy and breaking the rules of being clean and polite, and it overlaps with WAM (wet and messy) play and pig play. Keep it hygienic where it counts: nothing faecal or contaminated near genitals, mouths, eyes or broken skin, and never push mess on someone who hasn’t agreed. A shared shower afterwards can double as aftercare.

Further reading: Mysophilia - APA Dictionary of Psychology

Navel Fetish (Alvinolagnia)

Also called: alvinophilia, belly button fetish, belly fetish

A navel fetish is an erotic fixation on the belly button - how it looks, how it feels to touch, kiss or lick, and sometimes how it’s decorated with piercings or belly chains. Strictly speaking, alvinophilia is the navel-specific term and alvinolagnia covers the wider belly, but the two overlap a lot. Part of the appeal is that the navel sits right on the border between “innocent” and “intimate”, and for many people it’s genuinely sensitive. An easy way in is slow belly kisses or tracing the navel with a fingertip or tongue - see our erogenous zones guide for more. Go gently, though: some people find navel touching ticklish or even unpleasant.

Further reading: What’s So Sexy About Belly Buttons? - Psychology Today

Nebulophilia

Nebulophilia is sexual arousal linked to fog, mist, steam or smoke - the hazy, low-visibility atmosphere itself is the turn-on. It’s an informal term rather than a clinical one and there’s very little research on it, but the explanations people give make sense: fog feels secret and private, it softens everything you see, and an early, emotional memory tied to a misty setting can stick around. Exploring it is pretty low-key - a steamy shower or sauna together, a walk on a foggy evening, or a haze machine and dim lights at home. If you use a fog machine, ventilate the room and skip it if anyone has asthma, and never play with real smoke from fires.

Further reading: ‘Nebulophilia’ explained as sex expert reveals why some people experience unexpected arousal - Tyla

Nipple Play

Nipple play is any stimulation of the nipples and areolas - stroking, licking, sucking, pinching, twisting, vibration, suction or clamps. Nipples are packed with nerve endings, and their stimulation activates some of the same brain areas as genital touch, which is why some people (of any gender) can even orgasm from nipple play alone. Start soft and build up: fingertips, tongue, a little ice, then firmer pinches. When you want more, suckers and clamps add steady pressure - check out our favourite nipple toys. Keep early clamp sessions short (blood rushing back when they come off stings - often the point), and avoid vigorous nipple stimulation during pregnancy, as it can trigger contractions.

Further reading: Nipple Play: What Does It Mean? - WebMD

Nylons & Pantyhose

Also called: nylon fetish, pantyhose fetish, stocking fetish, hosiery fetish

A nylon fetish is attraction to stockings, tights and pantyhose - the sheen, the seams, the way they hug the legs, the smooth glide under your hand and even the soft swish when legs cross. It often overlaps with leg and foot fetishes, and plenty of people of all genders enjoy wearing hosiery as much as seeing it. Classic ways to play: a slow stocking reveal, a leg and foot massage through the fabric, footjobs in sheer tights, or tearing a cheap pair on purpose. Nylon doesn’t breathe, so wash pairs between wears, and keep a spare handy - they snag.

Further reading: Pantyhose Fetish: What Does It Mean? - WebMD

Objectophilia (Objectum Sexuality)

Also called: objectum sexuality (OS), object sexuality

Objectophilia describes people who feel romantic, emotional and/or sexual attraction to specific inanimate objects - well-known examples include people who have “married” the Eiffel Tower or formed bonds with bridges, cars or walls. Many in the OS community see it as an orientation rather than a kink, and often describe their objects as having a personality and a real relationship with them. Small studies have linked objectum sexuality with autism and synaesthesia, though research is limited. It’s different from loving a sex toy or fetish item: here the object is the partner, not the prop. As long as nobody is harmed (and you leave public property alone), there’s nothing to “fix”.

Further reading: Objectum sexuality: A sexual orientation linked with autism and synaesthesia - Scientific Reports (via PubMed Central)

Oculolinctus

Oculolinctus is licking a partner’s eyeball as a form of sexual or intimate play. It got a burst of attention after viral (and largely debunked) reports of a supposed eyeball-licking craze in Japan, but some adults genuinely find the vulnerability and trust of it erotic. Honestly, we don’t recommend it. Your mouth is full of bacteria and viruses, and licking an eye can pass on conjunctivitis, styes or even herpes from a cold sore, and the tongue can scratch the cornea - all of which can lead to serious infection and lasting eye damage. If it’s the vulnerability you crave, try eyelid and eyelash kisses, intense eye contact or blindfold play instead. Any eye pain or redness afterwards needs a doctor.

Further reading: Eyeball Licking: What If… - The Ophthalmologist

Omorashi

Also called: desperation fetish, omo

Omorashi (a Japanese word for wetting yourself) is arousal from bladder desperation - the full, squirming, I-really-need-to-go feeling, whether you’re the one holding it or watching a partner hold it. For many fans the build-up is the whole point and actual wetting is optional. Common ways in: drink a few glasses of water and hold off together, add a dominant twist where one partner controls bathroom breaks, or play out a “stuck in traffic” role play. Keep it sensible - don’t chug huge amounts of water, don’t hold for hours or push past real pain, and always let your partner go when they ask, as regularly overdoing it can irritate the bladder and raise UTI risk. Waterproof bedding helps if you go all the way.

Further reading: The Women and Men Who Get Turned On By Needing to Pee - VICE

Orgasm Control & Denial

Also called: edging, tease and denial, orgasm denial

Orgasm control means one partner decides when - or whether - the other gets to come. It ranges from edging (bringing someone right to the brink and stopping, again and again) to longer-term denial, sometimes for days and with a chastity cage in the mix. The appeal is part power exchange, part anticipation: the eventual release can feel much stronger, and the begging is half the fun. Try a simple rule first, like “you need permission to come” or “only on my count”. Agree on limits and a safeword beforehand, and know that the ache of denial (“blue balls” or the vulva equivalent) is uncomfortable but not harmful.

Further reading: What Is Orgasm Denial? 6 Ways To Try It With Your Partner - Bustle

Overstimulation (Forced Orgasms)

Also called: forced orgasm play, orgasm torture

Overstimulation is consensual play where the receiving partner keeps being stimulated past orgasm - often through several in a row - until pleasure tips into intense, almost-too-much sensation. “Forced” here is a scene word: it’s a pre-agreed power-exchange game, typically with a wand vibrator and the receiver in light restraints. People love the loss of control, the helplessness and the floaty headspace it can bring on. Start with short rounds, agree on a clear safeword or non-verbal signal (vital if they’re breathless or gagged - see our safeword guide), and check in often, since post-orgasm sensitivity can turn genuinely painful. Finish with water, cuddles and aftercare.

Further reading: 22 Forced Orgasm FAQs: What It Is, Why People Like It, Consent, More - Healthline

Pegging

Pegging is when one partner (traditionally a woman) anally penetrates another (traditionally a man) with a strap-on dildo, though today the word is used for strap-on anal play between any genders. The receiver can enjoy prostate stimulation and the thrill of flipping the usual roles, while the giver gets the view, the control and some pressure from the harness base. Prep matters: build up with fingers and smaller toys, use plenty of lube and a body-safe silicone dildo, and go slow. Our pegging guide and how to prepare your partner for pegging walk you through it. Talk afterwards too - it can feel emotionally big for both of you.

Further reading: What Is Pegging? A Beginner’s Guide - Healthline

Pet Play

Also called: animal role play, pup play, kitten play, pony play

Pet play is adult role play where one person takes on the mindset of an animal - most often a puppy, kitten or pony - and another often plays owner, handler or trainer. It’s about the headspace, not real animals: people describe it as playful, present and refreshingly free of grown-up worries, with gear like collars, hoods, ears, tails, mitts or bridles adding to the immersion. Some pet play is sexual, plenty isn’t. Start with a collar, a pet name and a few simple commands, and agree on a stop signal that works even when you’re “not speaking”. Protect knees on hard floors and choose body-safe tail plugs. Our pet play 101 covers the rest.

Further reading: The Psychology of Puppy Play: A Phenomenological Investigation - Archives of Sexual Behavior (via PubMed Central)

Plushophilia

Plushophilia is romantic or sexual attraction to stuffed animals and plush toys - from loving the softness against your skin to treating a favourite plushie as a sexual partner. It’s usually grouped with objectophilia, and some people describe it as being as much about comfort and closeness as arousal. It overlaps with the furry fandom for some, but not every furry is a plushophile (or vice versa). If it’s your thing, a dedicated plush (not one with sentimental value) made of washable material goes a long way, and some makers now sell adult plush toys designed for it. Bringing it to a partner? Present it as one part of your sexuality and let them set their own pace.

Further reading: Plushophilia (Attraction to Stuffed Animals) - Psych Central

Praise Kink

Praise kink means getting turned on by compliments and verbal approval during sex - hearing “good girl”, “good boy”, “you’re doing so well” or “you look incredible like this”. It’s having a big moment, especially among younger adults, and it fits both tender vanilla sex and D/s scenes where a dominant rewards a submissive. There’s no solid research on why it works, but feeling seen, appreciated and “good” is a pretty powerful aphrodisiac. To explore, tell your partner which words land and which feel cringe (some phrases can be loaded for people, so ask), then mix specific praise with moans and reactions. Our dirty talk examples include plenty of sweet-and-filthy praise lines.

Further reading: A Sexologist Explains What Exactly A Praise Kink Is - Refinery29

Pregnancy Fetish (Maiesiophilia)

Also called: preggophilia, pregnancy fetishism

A pregnancy fetish is attraction to pregnancy itself - the rounded belly, fuller breasts, lactation, or the idea of a partner carrying a baby. It’s different from a breeding kink, which focuses on the act of getting someone pregnant. Pregnancy fantasies are more common than you’d think, and research has linked these attractions to early exposure to a mother’s pregnancy and breastfeeding. Couples often explore it during a real pregnancy (sex is usually fine unless a doctor advises otherwise), or with belly worship, a prosthetic bump or role play the rest of the time. Never pressure a pregnant partner, and keep fantasy separate from any real plan to conceive - that deserves its own conversation.

Further reading: Exposure to mother’s pregnancy and lactation in infancy is associated with sexual attraction to pregnancy and lactation in adulthood - The Journal of Sexual Medicine (via PubMed)

Primal Play

Also called: primal kink, predator/prey play

Primal play is kink built on instinct rather than scripts - growling, chasing, wrestling, pinning, biting and scratching, usually framed as hunter and prey. Instead of formal commands, the power exchange comes from physical struggle, and the prey can genuinely fight back (and sometimes win). People love how it switches off the thinking brain and lets them be raw and wordless. Because things move fast and words disappear, agree on limits and a non-verbal stop signal before you start, clear the space of sharp corners, trim nails and go easy with teeth. Our negotiation guide helps you plan the scene, and leave time for aftercare - the adrenaline drop can hit hard.

Further reading: Primal Play and Predator/Prey Dynamics: Halloween’s Perfect Kink - Rouse Relational Wellness

Public Sex (Agoraphilia)

Public sex, sometimes called agoraphilia, is arousal from having sex in public or semi-public places - the risk, the adrenaline and the idea of almost getting caught. Be careful here: in most places sex in public is illegal, and charges like public indecency or indecent exposure can follow you for years (in some places onto a sex-offender register). Just as important, passers-by never got a say - so never involve unwilling onlookers, and stay well away from anywhere children could be. Safer ways to get the thrill: sex clubs where everyone has agreed to watch, a secluded private balcony or rented cabin, or role play at home. Read public sex: how NOT to do it before you try anything.

Further reading: Why Some Couples Love Having Sex Outdoors - Psychology Today

Queening (Face Sitting)

Queening is when one partner sits on or hovers over the other’s face to receive oral sex or rimming. The name nods to the throne-like power of the person on top, so it’s a favourite in femdom and D/s play, but plenty of couples love it simply because the angle is great and the person on top controls pressure and rhythm. Breathing comes before everything: hover or keep your weight on your knees rather than fully sitting, agree on a tap signal (two taps on the thigh means “up, now”), and lift off regularly. A pillow under the receiver’s head helps. Our guide to going down on a girl has more oral tips.

Further reading: Why ‘Queening’ Is the Sex Act Women Keep Coming Back To, According to Experts - VICE

Robot Fetish (Technophilia)

Also called: ASFR, robot fetishism, technosexuality

A robot fetish is attraction to robots, androids and synthetic humans - or to people acting like them. Fans often call it ASFR, after the old newsgroup alt.sex.fetish.robots, while technophilia is the broader term for arousal tied to technology. Some love the sleek, artificial look; others are drawn to the fantasy of a perfectly programmable partner, or of being “reprogrammed” themselves, which makes it a natural fit for power-exchange role play. Ways to explore range from a partner switching into stiff, obedient “robot mode” to sci-fi erotica, cosplay and realistic dolls - see our guide to playing with sex dolls. The human under the circuits still needs aftercare.

Further reading: Technofetishism and the Uncanny Desires of ASFR (alt.sex.fetish.robots) - Allison de Fren, Science Fiction Studies (via bepress)

Role Play

Also called: roleplay, erotic role play

Role play means acting out a scenario where one or both of you become someone else - strangers at a bar, boss and assistant, a knight and a captured royal, doctor and patient. It’s one of the easiest kinks to try because it mostly runs on imagination, and that layer of “pretend” makes it safer to explore fantasies, power dynamics or a new side of yourself. Start small with a short scene, a loose backstory and maybe one costume piece, and agree beforehand on what’s off-limits and how either of you can step out of character. Need inspiration? Try our 37 erotic roleplay scenarios or power-exchange roleplay ideas.

Further reading: Sexual Fantasies: Examples, Meanings, and How to Try - Healthline

Rough Sex

Also called: aggressive sex

Rough sex is energetic, forceful sex that might include hair pulling, spanking, pinning down, biting, scratching or hard thrusting. It’s surprisingly mainstream - a large US survey found around half of adults have experienced consensual rough sex - and people love the intensity, the passion and feeling wanted. Keep it consensual and specific: talk through exactly what’s okay (hair pulling yes, face slapping no?), use a safeword and build up rather than going all-out. One big caution: choking is common in rough sex, but there’s no truly safe way to do it and it carries a real risk of brain injury or death - grab hair, hips or wrists instead. Our rough sex tips cover the rest.

Further reading: Prevalence and Demographic Correlates of “Rough Sex” Behaviors: Findings from a U.S. Nationally Representative Survey of Adults Ages 18-94 Years - PubMed Central

Ruined Orgasms

A ruined orgasm is when stimulation stops right as someone starts to climax, so the orgasm happens but feels muted and unsatisfying - often with ejaculation or contractions but little of the usual pleasure. It’s a staple of orgasm control and tease-and-denial play: the dominant partner gets to “spoil” the release, and the submissive gets frustration, a hunger for more and a deliciously humbling twist. It works with any body. The trick is timing - hands (or toy) off at the point of no return - so agree on a clear “I’m about to come” signal. It shouldn’t hurt, but decide beforehand how many ruins are on the menu, and check in afterwards, as the frustration can get emotional.

Further reading: 10 Ruined Orgasm FAQs: What It Is, How it Feels, How to Try - Healthline

Sadism

Also called: sexual sadism

In kink, sadism means getting pleasure - often sexual - from consensually giving pain, discomfort or humiliation to a willing partner. It’s the “S” in BDSM and usually pairs with a masochist who enjoys receiving. The draw is the trust, the control and the reactions your partner gives you. Consent is what separates a kinky sadist from a harmful one: clinicians only talk about a disorder when someone acts on non-consenting people or is distressed by their urges. If you’re curious, learn safe techniques first, negotiate limits and safewords, and lean on frameworks like RACK and SSC. Good sadists are attentive ones - and tops need aftercare too.

Further reading: Sadism - Psychology Today

Salirophilia

Salirophilia is arousal from messing up someone who started out neat and polished - smudging their lipstick, wrecking their hair, rumpling or tearing their clothes, or covering them in food, mud or paint. The appeal is the before-and-after: turning someone pristine into a gorgeous, dishevelled mess, which for most fans is about transformation and letting go rather than harm or degradation. It’s rarely studied but easy to play with: dress up for a date and ruin the look together afterwards, or try a messy session in the shower or on a wipe-clean sheet. Use clothes you’re happy to sacrifice and body-safe substances, keep food away from eyes and genitals, and agree on what’s off-limits.

Further reading: What Scientists Have Learned About Unusual Sexual Fetishes - RealClearScience

Sapiosexuality

Also called: sapiosexual

Sapiosexuality means finding intelligence the most attractive thing about a person - a sharp mind, quick wit and deep knowledge turn you on more than looks do. It’s more a preference than a kink, and research using a dedicated sapiosexuality questionnaire suggests somewhere around 8% of people find intelligence a particular turn-on (though attraction tends to plateau at the very top of the IQ scale). To play into it, make conversation part of foreplay: debate something, read to each other, geek out about a niche obsession, or share some erotic books. Just remember intelligence comes in many forms - not only degrees and big words.

Further reading: Some people are attracted sexually to intelligence: A psychometric evaluation of sapiosexuality - Intelligence (ScienceDirect)

Scent Fetish (Olfactophilia)

A scent fetish is arousal from body odours - a partner’s sweat, armpits, feet, genitals, hair or worn clothes. Smell is closely tied to memory and attraction, and research suggests how someone smells genuinely shapes how attractive we find them, so this is a dialled-up version of something most people feel. Ways to explore: bury your face in their neck after a workout, sniff a worn T-shirt while you’re apart, or ask your partner to skip deodorant on date night. Armpit fans (axillism) and foot fetish folk often overlap here. Keep it hygienic - fresh sweat is very different from days-old bacteria - and be kind to a partner who feels self-conscious about their smell.

Further reading: Attraction To Natural Body Odor: Sweat, Semen, Vagina - Refinery29

Sensation Play

Sensation play is deliberately playing with your partner’s sense of touch - contrasting soft and sharp, hot and cold, light and intense. Think feathers, fur, silk, ice cubes, warm massage oil, fingernails or a Wartenberg pinwheel. It’s one of the most beginner-friendly ways into kink because it can be gentle and doesn’t need any power exchange, though it pairs beautifully with a blindfold, which heightens every touch. Start with things you already own, check in about what feels good, and avoid broken skin and eyes, and test anything warm on your own wrist first. Our sensation play toolkit is full of ideas.

Further reading: 8 Sensation Play Ideas To Get You Started - Bustle

Sleep Play (Somnophilia)

Sleep play is the fantasy of sexually touching or being touched while one partner is asleep or “asleep” - the appeal is usually vulnerability, deep trust or waking up to pleasure. The non-negotiable part: someone who is asleep can’t consent in the moment, so this is only okay between partners who have explicitly agreed to it while awake, with clear limits on what’s allowed - and that consent can be withdrawn at any time. Many couples keep it as role play, with one partner pretending to sleep, or agree to something mild like being woken with kisses or oral. Never combine it with alcohol, drugs or sleeping pills, and use our consent checklist to set the rules together.

Further reading: A Qualitative Exploration of Sleep-Related Sexual Interests: Somnophilia and Dormaphilia - PubMed Central

Spanking

Also called: erotic spanking

Spanking is striking the buttocks with an open hand - or a paddle, hairbrush or crop - for pleasure. It’s one of the most common kinks out there and a classic entry into impact play: the sting releases endorphins, the rhythm builds arousal, and it can feel playful, sensual or punishing depending on the mood. Begin with warm-up rubs and light pats, then build. Stick to the fleshy lower curve of the bum and upper thighs, avoid the tailbone, kidneys and spine, and check in with a simple 1-10 scale. Our beginner’s guide to erotic spanking shows you how, and choosing impact toys helps when you want more.

Further reading: Sexual Spanking, the Self, and the Construction of Deviance - Journal of Homosexuality (Taylor & Francis)

Spectrophilia

Spectrophilia is a sexual attraction to ghosts or spirits, or fantasies about being seduced by one. The idea is ancient - folklore is full of incubi and succubi visiting sleepers at night - and today it mostly lives in paranormal romance, erotica and spooky role play. The appeal is a mix of the forbidden, the unknown and a lover who is invisible and completely in control. If you want to play with it, keep it firmly in fantasy: a blindfold, a partner who touches you silently in the dark and a whispered ghost story can do a lot of the work.

Further reading: A Brief Investigation Into Human-Ghost Intercourse - Pacific Standard

Stygiophilia

Stygiophilia is arousal from the idea of hell, hellfire and damnation - the name nods to the River Styx of Greek myth. It’s a rare, mostly fantasy-based kink that overlaps with religious taboo, fear play and devil-and-sinner role play. For some people the thrill is the forbidden “sin” itself, for others it’s the drama of being tempted or punished for it. Adults usually explore it through dark role play, horns and costumes, candlelight and dirty talk about temptation. Because it can brush up against real religious beliefs, talk through where the lines are first and agree on a safeword.

Further reading: List of Paraphilias & Guide to Uncommon Sexual Interests - TherapyRoute

Swinging

Also called: the lifestyle, partner swapping

Swinging is when committed couples have sex with other people - usually other couples or singles - with each other’s full knowledge and consent, often at the same party or even in the same room. Many swingers see it as recreational: emotional loyalty stays with the main partner, while sex becomes something to share. Couples usually explore it through lifestyle clubs, parties, resorts or apps, and many start with “soft swap” (everything except penetrative sex with others). Agree on your rules beforehand, check in with each other during the night, use condoms and get tested regularly. Our beginner’s guide to group sex covers the basics.

Further reading: Sexual behaviour and STI testing among Dutch swingers: A cross-sectional internet based survey performed in 2011 and 2018 - PLOS ONE (via PubMed Central)

Temperature Play

Temperature play means using hot and cold sensations on your partner’s body - ice cubes, chilled or warmed glass and steel toys, warm massage oil, hot breath followed by a cold kiss. The contrast wakes up nerve endings, and it’s even better with a blindfold because your partner never knows what’s coming next. Ice is the easiest start, and our guide to temperature play with ice walks you through it. Test anything warm on your inner wrist first, keep ice moving rather than holding it in one spot, never put ice inside the body and only use candles made for skin. Take extra care with anyone who has reduced sensation or poor circulation.

Further reading: A Beginner’s Guide to Temperature Play - VICE

Tentacle Fetish

Also called: tentacle erotica, tentacle hentai

A tentacle fetish is arousal from fantasies of being touched, held or penetrated by tentacled creatures - octopuses, sea monsters or alien beings. Its roots are often traced to Hokusai’s 1814 woodblock print The Dream of the Fisherman’s Wife, part of Japan’s shunga erotic art tradition, and the theme exploded in 1980s and ’90s hentai. The appeal is total, many-armed attention and surrender to something overwhelming and non-human. It’s pure fantasy, explored through art, erotica, anime and fantasy-designed toys with suckers and curves. If you buy one, choose body-safe silicone and use plenty of lube.

Further reading: The Women Making Feminist Tentacle Porn - VICE

Threesomes

Also called: ménage à trois, MMF, FFM

A threesome is sex between three people at once, in any gender mix. It consistently ranks as one of the most common sexual fantasies, and the draw is easy to see: more hands, more mouths, novelty and the thrill of watching or being watched. Most people try it as a couple plus a third they trust, met through friends, apps or kink events. Talk honestly about boundaries, jealousy and what’s off limits before anyone gets naked, treat the third as a person rather than a prop, and use protection. Our guide on how to have a threesome covers the details.

Further reading: What Men and Women Really Think About Threesomes - Psychology Today

Trampling

Trampling is a kink where one partner walks, stands or kneels on the other’s body for erotic pleasure. It ranges from a gentle barefoot “massage” to heavier, more painful play in heels or boots, and it overlaps with foot fetish, masochism and dominance and submission - few things feel as submissive as literally lying underfoot. Start barefoot on padded, muscular areas such as the back, buttocks and thighs, with the top holding a wall or furniture for balance. Avoid the neck, throat, spine, chest, kidneys and joints, leave heels and genital trampling to experienced players, and agree on a safeword plus a tap-out signal.

Further reading: The Men Who Love Getting Their Balls Absolutely Destroyed - VICE

Trichophilia (Hair Fetish)

Also called: hair fetish, hair partialism

Trichophilia is sexual arousal from human hair - most often long head hair, though some people focus on beards, chest, armpit or pubic hair. It can be about how hair looks, feels or smells, or about what’s done with it: brushing, braiding, pulling, cutting or shaving. Plenty of people enjoy a bit of hair pulling without calling it a fetish. To explore it, try washing or brushing your partner’s hair as foreplay, or a firm grip close to the roots during sex (more in our rough sex tips). Agree on haircut or head-shaving scenes well in advance - hair takes a long time to grow back.

Further reading: Trichophilia: What to Know About a Hair Fetish - Healthline

Underwear Fetish

Also called: panty fetish, lingerie fetish

An underwear fetish is arousal centred on underwear - seeing it, touching it, smelling it, wearing it or watching a partner wear it. Some people love lace and lingerie, others prefer briefs, jockstraps or worn cotton panties, and for many it’s the closeness to the body and its scent that does it. It’s one of the easiest fetishes to bring into a relationship: a slow strip-tease, a lingerie gift, keeping your partner’s worn pair or swapping underwear for the day. Lots of people enjoy wearing lingerie themselves too, whatever their gender - sexy lingerie isn’t just for women. Only ever handle underwear its owner has happily given you.

Further reading: The Underwear Fetish Brain? - Discover Magazine

Uniform Fetish

A uniform fetish is attraction to people in uniform, or to the uniforms themselves. Police, military, firefighter, pilot, nurse, doctor, maid and sports kits are the classics. Much of the appeal is what the outfit stands for - authority, competence, discipline and a ready-made power dynamic - plus that crisp, put-together look. That makes it a natural fit for power-exchange role play: a costume instantly sets the scene for an interrogation, a check-up or a strict inspection. Keep it to costumes and private spaces, and never impersonate real police or officials in public, which is illegal in many places.

Further reading: Sexual Uniforms: The Costumes That Turn People On - Sex and Psychology (Dr. Justin Lehmiller)

Urophilia (Watersports / Golden Showers)

Also called: urolagnia, watersports, golden showers, piss play

Urophilia is arousal from urine or urination - being peed on, peeing on someone, watching or, for some, tasting. People enjoy the taboo, the warmth and intimacy, and the power exchange of marking or being marked, which is why it often shows up in dominance and submission. Start in the shower or bath, where clean-up is easy. Urine from a healthy person is low-risk but not sterile, so keep it away from eyes and open cuts, skip it if either of you has an infection, and drink plenty of water beforehand to dilute it. As always, talk it through first and agree on limits with our yes/no/maybe list.

Further reading: Golden Showers and Watersports: How Many People Are Sexually Aroused by Urine and Why? - Sex and Psychology (Dr. Justin Lehmiller)

Vampire & Blood Play

Also called: hematolagnia, blood fetish

Vampire play blends gothic role play - biting, neck kisses, capes and seduction - with, for some, real blood play: drawing small amounts of blood with needles or shallow cuts, and sometimes tasting it. The appeal is intimacy, taboo and an intense power exchange. Safety note: real blood play is edge play. Blood can carry HIV and hepatitis B and C, so get tested together, use sterile single-use blades or needles, gloves and antiseptic, stay shallow and away from major blood vessels, and never share equipment. Swallowing blood carries its own risks. The safest version is biting without breaking skin, plus fake blood. Read our guide to RACK and SSC first.

Further reading: 16 Things to Know About Hematolagnia, or Blood Play - Healthline

Vicarphilia

Vicarphilia is arousal from hearing about other people’s sex lives - their stories, confessions and adventures - rather than from taking part yourself. It’s why some couples love recounting past encounters in bed, and it overlaps with cuckolding and hotwifing, where one partner describes or reports back on a consensual date with someone else. To try it, take turns describing a real or invented fantasy in detail, read erotica aloud, or turn storytelling into dirty talk. Keep stories about real people discreet, and check in with each other afterwards - jealousy can sneak up on you.

Further reading: Vicarphilia - The Free Dictionary (Medical Dictionary)

Vore

Also called: vorarephilia

Vore is an erotic fantasy about swallowing someone whole or being swallowed whole - often by a giant, a monster or an animal-like character. It is fantasy only: it lives in drawings, stories, animation and online communities, and nobody gets hurt. Researchers link it to themes of dominance and submission, helplessness and being completely contained by someone else. Many fans prefer “soft vore” (swallowed whole and unharmed) to gorier “hard vore”. Couples can play with the power dynamic through power-exchange role play, belly kissing and “I could eat you up” teasing. Real-life harm is never part of it.

Further reading: Vorarephilia: A Case Study in Masochism and Erotic Consumption - Archives of Sexual Behavior (Springer)

Voyeurism

Also called: scopophilia, scoptophilia

Voyeurism is arousal from watching other people undress, masturbate or have sex. In kink it’s always consensual: the people being watched know and have agreed. Watching or filming someone without their consent is a crime and has no place here. The thrill is in observing without taking part - the forbidden peek, the distance, the anticipation. Consensual ways in include watching your partner touch themselves, sex clubs and play parties where watching is part of the deal (see our guide to group sex), cam shows with willing performers, or a well-placed bedroom mirror. It pairs naturally with exhibitionism, so many couples swap roles.

Further reading: Exploring Voyeurism: A Review of Research - ResearchGate

Wax Play

Also called: hot wax play, candle play

Wax play is dripping warm wax onto a partner’s skin for the hit of heat, the brief sting and the soothing warmth that follows. It’s one of the most beginner-friendly kinds of sensation play, and it looks gorgeous. Use low-temperature candles made for wax play or massage - not ordinary household candles or beeswax, which burn much hotter. Test on your own forearm first, drip from higher up for a cooler sensation, keep wax off the face and genitals while you learn, and protect hair with oil or a towel. Keep water nearby and never leave a flame unattended. Our wax play guide walks you through it.

Further reading: What Is Wax Play? Massage Candles As A Gateway To Easy Kink - Refinery29

Wet & Messy (Sploshing)

Also called: WAM, messy play

Wet and messy is arousal from getting yourself or a partner wet, sticky or covered in stuff - whipped cream, custard, cake, baked beans, mud, slime, paint, or simply getting soaked fully clothed. The name “sploshing” comes from Splosh!, a British fetish magazine. Part of the appeal is sensory, part is playful rule-breaking and losing your composure in the messiest way possible. Start in the shower or on a waterproof sheet with something you’d happily eat. Keep sugary and oily foods away from the vulva and out of the body to avoid yeast infections and irritation, and patch-test any non-food products first.

Further reading: Whipped Cream Is Child’s Play in the World of Sploshing - VICE

Whipping

Also called: flagellation

Whipping is impact play with a whip - from multi-tailed floggers to the famously intense single tail. People love the sting, the rhythm and the adrenaline rush, plus the trust and power exchange it takes. Beginners should start with floggers or crops and save single tails for later, as they can easily break skin. Practise on a pillow first, aim only at fleshy areas like the buttocks, thighs and upper back (never the spine, kidneys, neck or head), warm up slowly and agree on a safeword. Our flogging tips are a great start, and aftercare matters as much as technique.

Further reading: Exploring BDSM? Here’s How To Find The Right Whip For You - Refinery29

Xenophilia

Also called: monster romance, teratophilia (monsters), exophilia (aliens)

In kink, xenophilia means attraction to aliens, monsters and other non-human fantasy beings - think orc, werewolf, demon or alien romances. It’s a booming genre in romance fiction and fan art, and fans often say the appeal is the otherness, the size and strength, and the intense devotion of a creature who wants only you. It’s strictly fantasy, explored through books, art, costumes, role play and fantasy-shaped sex toys. Masks, horns and a little creature-feature role play are a fun, low-key way in. Outside kink, the word simply means a love of foreign things, so context matters.

Further reading: Why Do We Want to Fuck Monsters? - Dazed

Yiff (Furry Erotica)

Also called: furry porn, furry erotica

Yiff is furry-fandom slang for sexual content - erotic art, stories and role play featuring anthropomorphic animal characters, or adults playing in character, sometimes in fursuits. It’s about fictional, human-like characters played by consenting adults and has nothing to do with real animals. Research suggests most furries are in the fandom mainly for community and creativity, though many also enjoy its adult side. If it appeals, explore it through artists, commissions, fursona role play and adult-only furry spaces. It’s different from pet play, where adults role play animals as part of a power dynamic.

Further reading: “Chasing Tail”: Testing the Relative Strength of Sexual Interest and Social Interaction as Predictors of Furry Identity - The Journal of Sex Research (via PubMed)

Yoni Massage

Also called: tantric vulva massage

Yoni massage is a slow, tantric-inspired massage of the vulva and vagina (“yoni” is Sanskrit for the female genitals). The goal isn’t orgasm but relaxation, connection and pleasure on the receiver’s terms - though orgasms often happen anyway. Set up a warm, quiet space, start with the belly, breasts and inner thighs, then use plenty of lube and gentle strokes, circles and pressure around the labia and clitoris, only moving inside when invited. Breathe slowly together, keep nails short and clean, and let the receiver guide you. It’s the counterpart to lingam massage and a lovely entry into tantric sex.

Further reading: Yoni Massage: What It Is, Benefits, Techniques to Try - Medical News Today

Zappers (Electro Wands)

Also called: electro play, e-stim

Zappers are handheld electro toys that deliver small, sharp sparks or pulses to the skin - often a single snap at the push of a button - while violet wands give a crackling, fizzy glow. People love the startle, the sting and the anticipation, and they slot easily into teasing and domination scenes. Safety note: only use devices made for erotic electro play, never stun guns or DIY gadgets. Keep electricity below the waist and never across the chest or heart, and skip electro play entirely if anyone has a pacemaker, a heart condition or epilepsy, or is pregnant. Start on the lowest setting. See our BDSM Zapper 2.0 review.

Further reading: I Took a First Date to Be Sexually Electrocuted at a Violet Wand Workshop - VICE

Zentai

Zentai is a skin-tight spandex suit that covers the entire body, face included - the name is Japanese shorthand for “full-body tights”. For some people it’s a fetish, for others it’s about freedom, anonymity and shedding self-consciousness, and Japan has a well-known zentai community. Fans love the second-skin feel, the smooth featureless look and how touch feels through the fabric. A suit is an easy way in: try a full-body massage or caress through it, or combine it with light bondage. Choose a breathable fabric, avoid overheating, and make sure the wearer can see and breathe comfortably.

Further reading: Freedom, Not Fetish: Inside the World of Japan’s Zentai Community - VICE

Zoophilia (Why It’s Not on Our List)

Zoophilia means sexual attraction to animals, and acting on it is never a kink. Animals can’t consent, so any sexual contact with them is abuse - and it’s illegal in most places. Kink is built on informed, enthusiastic consent between adults, which is exactly why this has no place on our list. If you’re struggling with these urges, a therapist can help confidentially.

Further reading: U.S. State Rankings Report - Laws Against the Sexual Assault of Animals - Animal Legal Defense Fund